http://www.georgecarlin.com Never before heard conversations between the late, great George Carlin and his friend and co-author, Tony Hendra. George Carlin: So I had my mother out there, and I finally had to kick her out of my house. I finally had to pack her shit, she was gonna hang out for ever, she was gonna be the woman who came to dinner, just by squatters rights, to some degree, established this. I had to kick my mother out of my house. Old woman. I kicked my old— Tony Hendra:--she would have been like 70. GC: Yeah, she would have been in her 70s. And I said Out! Were going to the airport.
http://www.georgecarlin.com Never before heard conversations between the late, great George Carlin and his friend and co-author, Tony Hendra. Tony Hendra: I think the Reagan assassination was a put up affair, I mean, I did the whole time. George Carlin: Yeah. I love conspiracy theories, I just love it. And I buy into any one they wanna say. Cause its fun. TH: But I mean, gimme a break, the guy had two great lines, which had clearly been written for him, he never came up with a line in his life. Two great lines Honey I forgot to duck and I hope the doctors a republican right? Right there, right there, timings perfect. And the bullet stopped, where did it stop? An inch. An inch from his great big Irish heart. An inch. Just an inch. He was never shot. GC: Oh you dont think the bullet ever got in there? TH: Nah. GC: No? TH: Its a bunch—Its a load of bullshit GC: I didnt know you meant it that way, that he never got shot at all. Thats great, thats exciting. I love that. Kennedy, King, right, Elvis Presley. Ok. Where was Martin Luther King shot? TH: Memphis. GC: Wheres Elvis from? TH: Memphis. GC: Martin Luther King was Elvis nickname. The King. Im not gonna say anymore! TH: Need I say more? GC: Im gonna leave it with you, cause youre the expert. And? One more thing, who did Elvis Presley get his drugs from? Doctor. Doctor King. TH: You rest your case. GC: Thats it, Im not saying anything more.
http://www.georgecarlin.com Never before heard conversations between the late, great George Carlin and his friend and co-author, Tony Hendra. Tony Hendra: Going back to that willingness to expose that part of yourself that you know everyone else will like and then having people laugh at that, or respond to that, whatever, laughter is just a mouth opening saying I recognize. Therefore, there is a heightened level of reality for you and for the people you are exposed to. It seems to me that would be an end worth achieving, if only for a few minutes to live on another level of reality that isnt normally admitted. George Carlin: Thats right. Its adventuresome. Its risky. Its titillating. Exciting. Its stimulating. TH: Not unlike drug taking. GC: Yeah, yeah, thats true. Thats good. Yeah, yeah, I see your point. Its Try this. Think thats good, try this. Ive got some shit from fuckin Jamaica. My uncle— TH: Thatll put you on another level. GC: Yeah, this is a thing no ones heard of. You put it in your eye. You put this in your eyes, and you dont flinch and youre gonna love it. Ill take some too if you will. I think youre on to something. And I hope you can use some of these threads and thoughts in explaining me and therefore us, you as well, by proxy. You know if theres useful meat in that, thats wonderful because it sure has a basis in hard fact in terms of my career and writing. TH: It also has a kind of perverse logic in the sense that the story of your life that you have gone from the practically prepubescent time you started sucking on dope to this unique experience with, its like your life has been one long attempt to get high.
http://www.georgecarlin.com Never before heard conversations between the late, great George Carlin and his friend and co-author, Tony Hendra. Tony Hendra: In this period, what kind of material were you doing? George Carlin: So I had finished looking in myself and I had finished this, you know, scavenging the last parts of my body for things that they could know about me, and now I was turning to my pets. Ya know, the nearest thing to me. Let me tell you about this little extension of me, that I have over here, that I have invested so much in, in terms of my emotions.
http://www.georgecarlin.com Never before heard conversations between the late, great George Carlin and his friend and co-author, Tony Hendra. George Carlin: This fucking hallucinating, which would come from not just the drug alone but staying up six days. I would stay up as much as six days, and not eat, or eat very little. And thats fasting, I mean we know that religious people have visions purely off of lack of food. And you were just often crashing down and you would just go into this fucking sleep, and just sleep. I would miss dates, they would have to cancel dates for me, and I would miss whole strings of dates. And then theyd have to reschedule them, and I would go to the Cocaine Doctor, in Westwood, a doctor with an Austrian accent and a lisp. And he would make notes that excused me from the concert so we wouldnt get sued, that I had laryngitis, but I would have laryngitis because I would sing for six days at the top of my voice and I would talk talk talk talk talk, because the cocaine made me talk, and then I would try to do a two and a half hour concert but he would have to write a note aww, he has laryngitis. You know this cocaine makes you wap, and when you wap, you wose your voice, so you must not wap, and you must not have-- Tony Hendra: Wap? GC: Rap, youre rapping, ya know— TH: Oh rap, rap, I see. He was a cool old guy? GC: Yeah he was cool.
http://www.georgecarlin.com Never before heard conversations between the late, great George Carlin and his friend and co-author, Tony Hendra. George Carlin: I did another [Saturday Night Live] in 1984, every 9 years I try, I should call Lorne and tell him that, I think they dont like me there. When I came back in 84, I did three sketches, and I was good, I did a policeman sketch with Billy Crystal as the father, I did a fireman on a panel, and he was Joe Franklin, Billy Crystal was, and Martin Short played this crazy rock guy, this foppish rock guy. But at the party that night, at the cast party in the restaurant, Martin Short came over to me and he said You were terrific in that fireman thing because, he says you played the middle man. Apparently thats an old vaudeville tradition. And I had this wonderful line where Billy would ask me questions and I would say Not to my knowledge. I was so pleased that night with all that. But I knew I was gonna be an actor, I knew I could act and do something when the time came. And I said to Billy Crystal, after the show, I said, I knew he was gonna leave Saturday Night Live and go do movies the next year, so I said, Maybe well get to do a movie together someday! And he gave me this look like I was some kind of a bug. Ya know, like I was this odd specimen that had come in the lab, and I can see now, and for me to say that was like Oh that certainly doesnt work into my plans for being in a movie with George.
http://www.georgecarlin.com Never before heard conversations between the late, great George Carlin and his friend and co-author, Tony Hendra. George Carlin: I began to see in my files there was like Well lets just kill everybody. And now I see oh, oh, I said heres the real art cause I honestly dont think it would be a good idea to kill everybody but, but at the same time I honestly think thats a pretty good idea to let loose, and to say, and if I can give a lot of semi, quasi, pseudo reasons and, uh, methods for getting rid of everybody in the world, except for what I call a nice workable 200,000, and Im not even sure I can find that many, I said I think weve got a chance. Is that satire, by the way Tony, cause you have a definition of satire and I dont really know what satire is and I know its misused all the time Tony Hendra: I think satire is when you take on the coloration of someone else. GC: Yes, yes, right. TH: When did you do that bit? GC: I havent gotten to it yet, awww, this is building in the fall and looking great, naw its going to be wonderful. TH: But in a sense, it seems to me, that may be a very delayed reaction to what after all was Reagans basic philosophy, which is that we all may have to die in order to save his way of life. So in a sense youre taking on the oppositions basic theory which is, we may all die. GC: Yeah, well that is what Im doing in this, what Im espousing here is, yes— TH: Utter violence, ultra ultra violence. I mean I think thats satire. GC: Thats what the killing people will do. I said this is getting out of hand, too many people. You know what I said, I said, I dont think you solve problems by electing different leaders, nor do I think you sit around in a circle and sing songs. So I dont think another Farm Aid is gonna do anything. I think widespread bloodshed, it has been shown in the past, it works. Change, we need change.
http://www.georgecarlin.com Never before heard conversations between the late, great George Carlin and his friend and co-author, Tony Hendra. George Carlin: The reason I prefer the sledgehammer to the rapier, and the reason I believe in blunt, almost violent, confrontational form for the presentation of my ideas, these days, is because I see that what is happening to everyone, it is not rapier-like. It is not gentle. It is not subtle. It is direct, hard, and violent what is being done to the lives of people. Even the slow violence of poverty, the slow violence of disease Theres no violence about someone with an uzi in a McDonalds and 40 people are dead. The real violence goes on every day, unheard, unreported, over and over, multiplied millions fold and, and, and it is not sufficient to have a clever riposte, a clever line. Well isnt this cute—these Capitol Steps, ah duh duh duh, diddly doo and the killing. Ugh, Fuck you cocksuckers! is my approach, not to them, I mean, to the world, to the leadership. My response is: When are we going to start assassinating the right people in this country? These political leaders, they work for others, theyre functionaries, dont bother, and why is it, by the way that all the right wing guys they tried to shoot survived. Wallace and Reagan, dont we have any marksmen on our side?