Lokey Patel

Summary: Cynic

For the last thirty-five years I have worked in various positions. My humanity and dignity has survived these years through a cultivated and growing cynicism. I am currently seeking a position where I can receive an income in excess of $250,000/yr without adding any benefit to product or service and at the same time have lots o ...f fun. “No pain is gain.”

Education:

Included is the tribal conditioning and dominate myth structure of the prevailing education system and a BS degree.

The following represents highlights of my previous experience:

Co-founder of The Fish Brothers Insurance Co
With my associate at Fish Brothers I developed an affordable Armageddon Family Insurance product. This product allowed working middle class families $1,000,000 coverage in the event of Armageddon for a nominal one-time fee of $100.

Using the Fish Brothers staff of seers and psychics I discovered an Armageddon safe zone in the Adirondack Mountains of New York. I packaged and sold time share properties in the Armageddon safe zone.

System Auditor
With the N. Secure Insurance Group I monitored computer mouse performance. I implemented and managed a mouse ball lubrication schedule that saved 10,000 hours of computer mouse down time.

Business Planner Consulting
As a business consultant with the Parasite Group I planned and developed ‘friction and red tape strategies’ which make business services more difficult and make customers give up. I implemented a plan with major health care insures which reject payment when claims are first made. By adding confusing payment statements and automated answering I was able to reduce claims pay outs by 15% or more. I also implemented business schemes where for a fee a client can receive reduction in friction and access premier services.

Administrative Assistant

At Fox News I served as Administrative Assistant to Joe Goebbels.

Elephant Massage

Prior to moving to America I massaged elephants in India.