my story:

1. When I was born, just to catch up with the female midwife who was disappointment in love, because I did not cry hastily,I was beat up by her.

2. When I was one-year-old ,I climbed everywhere in the house, as a result I was caught by a mousetrap. It was said that the mousetrap was bought back two years ago and no mouse was caught.It was my hand tha ...t the first prey caught by the mousetrap.

3. two-year-old, I learned how to walk. In the home I played at hide - and - seek with parents. I hid under my bed, as a result I was caught by another mousetrap. It was said that the mousetrap was bought back three years ago and no mouse was caught.It was my leg that the first prey caught by the mousetrap.

4. three-Year-old, I wanted to walk down the staircase. Granny Zhang next door said she would take me down the stairs lest I fell over myself. with saying that she directly fell down the stairs . Following the stairs from the fourth floor fell down to the first floor, directly goning into the stage of senile dementia.

5. Four-year-old, when I was led by the police to cross the road, I have not yet said Thank you to him. He was knocked down by a motorcycle and flying to the road opposite,permanent disability.

6. Five years old, my father sent me to kindergarten. The kindergarten Auntie praises my handsome. Just finished it, a vase on the fifth floor fell down and drop a direct hit to Auntie's skull.

7. Six years old, it's the first time that I went to the zoo. I said, the character of the male panda was more attractive than the character of the female panda. The next day, the panda that I had ever praised died of dystocia.

8. Seven-year-old, I wnet to primary school. When final examinations was finished, the math teacher said that my grade was 59, but she commiserated with me and change my grade to 60 . The next day, math teacher died of a car accident.

9. Eight-year-old, I praised a girl in our class that she looked pretty good. Five minutes later, the girl encountered a rare meteor shower.

10. Nine-year-old, I learned the robbery. I robbed a five-year-old children on the road. Finally I was was beat up. He claimed that he was expert at Chinese boxing.

11. 10-year-old, I went to the W.C. with my fat friend Xiaopang. Xiaopang praised me that my posture was handsome and cool When I urinated, I was prepared to say Thank you, Xiaopang has fallen into the closestool.

12. At the age of 11, the teacher asked me what 3 multiplied by 7 was. I said 21. Teacher said, you really smart, just finished it,the teacher died of a heart attack.

13. At the age of 12,when the graduated examinations of elementary school was gonging. Invigilator reminded me that time was running out. I said, Thank you for your reminder. Just finished, over the teacher's head, a fan falling ......

14. 13-year-old, I went to study in the junior middle school. No one dares to hobnobbed with me because ofMy prevenient experience . There is only one student called bold Wang said to me: I do not believe that you would be so hapless, the same afternoon, bold Wang was chased by two Bulls across eight streets.

15. At the age of 14, the teacher wants us to write a essay, the title of essay was called "our Bridge". I mentioned in the essay: the bridge in our city is very magnificent ....... The next day, when I went to school, found that the bridge suddenly collapsed.

16. 15-year-old, I love a girl. I dared not to say it, fearing to harm her. I may be impossible to control myself, and finally, I chose a sunny weather, in the open playground of school I declared to her. According to the weather forecast, ther was definitely not a meteor storm that day. But after I did that , the earthquake happened, I looked at the girls cried and fall into a split-......

17. 16-year-old, I went to study in the high school. I love the football, the Opposite goalkeeper praised that I am skill in ball games. Therefore, the goal suddenly collapsed ......

18. 17-year-old, I followed the crowd to watch the real suicide scene of jumping off a building. The results, I was koncked down and pressed under his body by the man who jumped off a building... Two months later, he and I were both discharged from hospital. in the hospital in-patient department entrance, he said thank you to me for I saved him. Therefore, he was koncked down and pressed under someone's body by a patient who wanted to kill himself by jumping off from the in-patient department building top, this time he did not survive .....

19. Aged 18, I had adult. For the first time?I went to bank to draw money?As a result,I met the robbers was robbing bank. a girl who was bank personnel said to me: keep silent, or robbers would kill you. Soon after, the girl was shot into the sieve ......

20. 19-year-old,in college I drank together with three students, we drank two bottles of wine, three walk with Hades. I was kept schoolege but placed under surveillance ……

21. 20-year-old, I told the students that ride the train to travel was safe than by plane. Therefore, the aircraft started to crash ......

22. 21-year-old, I told my father that if possible I must went to the United States and look at the Gemini floor. Thus, the 911 happend......

23. 22-year-old, my colleagues and I bet the Chinese team in the World Cup will be able to achieve good results. So ... Later, there was a national organization invited me to attend the seminar, the discussion's subject was why I was so hapless. When I put my deeds submitted to the organizing committee, the discussion's subject was altered to why I was so lucky.

24. 23-year-old, April, I resigned from the bank to an air travel company, the atypical pneumonia erupted. Companies collapsed……

25. Same year, I was unemployment at home, doing nothing all day. Associateed with a girl, when we kissed,the result is mask to masks……

26. a lot of people got rich during the "atypical pneumonia" time, I envied them.So I borrowed150,000 yuan to bought many vegetables and was prepared to sold them in Beijing. When I arrived at Beijing,someone wanted bought all my vegetables by 250,000 yuan, Fuck! Waited a while again. no 350,000 yuan will be out of discussion, the third day the vegetable price smoothed down, vegetables started to rot, rushing to find buyers, they offered 3,000 yuan, I sold……

27. There is an old saying in China: To get up from where you fall down! I found that masks had been in short supply, higher prices. So I established the factory to produce "cool"-sign masks.waste money by using rejects, earn 10,000 yuan a day. The next day, The polices came to my factory. The factory was closed and fined 30,000 yuan……

28. It Seemed that I was not goog at business , officials! I spent 48,000 to the Secretary, he promised to give me a position and start to work tomorrow. The next day, I went to meet the Secretary. He was taken away by procuratorate, I not only lost my money, but also was put in jail……

29.After one month I released on bail .Where I arrived home, hearing that my girlfriend had contracted the "atypical pneumonia" in hospital.When I came to the hospital she had gone. on her lips, wearing a "cool"-sign mask……

30. Oh, I should follow the right path. I learned to surf the internet With a netizen whoes name is "like to eat", Under her encouragement I made a commentary call "to see a commentary why I must response the commentary" in internet.she greatly praised my action, hastened to response my commentary.As a result, her computer was poisoned so serious that almost be paralyzed. The next day I made another commentary called "I like to see commentary but I never response it " in internet.She's scared and dare not to reponse my commentary,all the computers of her company were paralyzed……

31. In internet I Became friends with 3 female netizens: the first netizen's voice sound sweet but she was 56-year-old.The second one was 20-year-old and very beautiful, but she do not like boys; and the third one was 21-year-old, beautiful, Talented, like boys, like me, when we met , I spoke to her a joke, she constantly laughed loudly, could not control herself and dead.....
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Finally. Today, I tell my stories to you,just in order to hope that we can cherish our happy life, and I wish all the people who do not reponse my commentary always happy and keep a good health. *^_^*