Album: Darkness Descends
The world now stands ancient, showing her age
Antique, senile, archaic
Peroration impending, not one to assuage
The human remnants of earth
Pandemic winds chill the soul
Eradication of the will
Nihilism extracts its toll
Frightening the meekly servile
Sacrosanct, the religious ones
Are fast becoming extinct
Chaotic precursors of what will befall
Permeate the night air
The fear of the end preys on the minds
Of all the soon-to-be dead
With death at the hands of a hideous fiend
A grisly fate to comprehend
This city is guilty
The crime is life
The sentence is death
Internal combustion, plutonic rage
The bodies create their own hell
The flame from within, unleashed from its cage
Purging the great sins of all
Admissions of guilt are all that are sought
By judges who have twisted laws
The quick abrogation of the populace
Striking with great enmity
Listing the ways in which we will die
As the prophets claim we will soon
Self-immolation that's unjustified
Stygian shores ahead loom
The coffins are ready, the death warrant signed
Depression has swiftly set in
Inimical powers against humankind
This charnelhouse ensanguined
This city is guilty
The crime is life
The sentence is death
Decaying, the ruins fall swift to the ground
The carnage is morbid and great
Mephitic deathstench of corpses abound
The earth meets an untimely fate
The horrific malignance, spreading its wings
Across the expanse of the sky
Contamination and all that it brings
The judges commit genocide
Retaliation, a useless ploy
We've gazed into the face of fear
We know that it stands for our own bitter end
The end we realize is now here
The claws of denouement grasp at our lungs
Asphyxiation rules supreme
The future of mankind cut down while they're young
Our children die clutching their dreams...
This city is guilty
The crime is life
The sentence is death
Paul calls up a REAL Hooker from NYC to ask a few questions and brings up one small problem...
Before you ask, I'm not giving out her number lmao.
This was during one of my live shows on BlogTV! If you want to watch live next time, please subscribe here:
If you like this, you'll probably like my other prank calls! Click the links to watch them!
(Listed newest to oldest!)
- Pizza Shop - Senile Old Man
- Pizza Shop - Plain, Regular, and Cheese
- Adult Shop
- Harry Potter
- No Date For The Valentines Day Dance
- Lost And Found
- Random Number
- Planters Peanuts
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Our producers have put together some of their favourite pranks to share with you, yet again! This installment is particularly hilarious with some gags you won't believe we pulled off!!!!
Without further ado, here is:
Huge Red Flag Demonstration
Tourist and Cop Sexy Gay Kiss Prank
Horrible Car Crash Prank
Funniest Drowning Prank
Epic Old Man - Senile Cashier
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A presentation of the official Just For Laughs Gags YouTube channel. Home of the funniest, greatest, most amazing, most hilarious, win filled, comedy galore, hidden camera pranks in the world!
Click here to watch more Senile Scribbles Episode 3
The Senile Scribbles Episode 4
From FoolHardy Originals (*******www.youtube****/user/seanzoz) creator of the popular Game of Thrones parody series, comes the Senile Scribbles!
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"Cid Moreira, a voz do dono, a voz do Grande Irmão, a voz que surgiu do AI-5, voltou-se contra si mesma. Foi um daqueles momentos que servem como símbolos, como instantâneos da história. Cid Moreira falou, e falou e falou, contra Roberto Marinho. Foram três longos minutos, contra a Globo, no Jornal Nacional. O redator era Leonel Brizola, que ganhou direito de responder ao ataque que havia recebido do mesmo Jornal Nacional, que o chamou de senil.
Leia o desfecho acessando
The clip racquetball from Cape Fear (1991) with Nick Nolte
Mr. Perfect Form.
You gotta snap your wrist on the backhand.
Usually I like a little music at this point, Sam.
Sam, I want to play in this lifetime.
-You gotta snap your wrist. -Tag.
-We should stop doing this for a while. -Doing what? We're not doing anything.
-No, I know that. -Yet.
Okay. Fine. Maybe you're right.
Why? Does your wife mind?
My wife doesn't even know you exist, which, most certainly, is for the best.
God, Lori, you know why you ask that question?
-'Cause you've never been married. -Why?
Is marriage synonymous with deception?
It's just that when two people...
...get married and live together for a long time...
I like hanging out with you, so sue me.
You're funny, and you're cute, and, I don't know...
We talk about the courts and which judge is senile...
...which one wears a gun under his robe.
Oh, God. You know, Lori, another time, another place...
...and who knows?
-Tomorrow? -Yeah, it's a light docket.
No, I won two out of three. Let's make it best out of five.
All right, that's good, actually, because today I let you win.
-Sure you did. -See ya.
Cataract Eye Surgery, hypermature senile cataract (HMSC). This is a live recording of the eye surgery and involves scalpels, needles and other medical instruments. It is not recommended for the faint at heart.
The title pretty much says it all. Is George w. Bush suffering from pre-senile dementia? Check it out.
The clip preparing-for-larrabee from What's Up, Doc? with Madeline Kahn, Madeline Kahn. Powered by: Anyclip. any moment from any film.
What do you mean, Eunice?
Now, Howard, you know what I'm talking about.
- After all, you are a man. - That's true.
- She is a woman. - That's true, too.
- In the same way that I am a woman. - I don't think of you as a woman, Eunice.
I think of you as...
- But I am a woman, Howard. - I know that.
Eunice, I know I don't seem to be a very romantic person.
I'm not looking for romance, Howard.
I'm looking for something more important than that. Something stronger.
As the years go by, romance fades and something else takes its place.
- Do you know what? - Senility.
- Trust. - That's what I meant.
I think we'd better talk about this at some other time.
Now, Howard, I want you to make a good impression on Mr. Larrabee.
Tell me exactly what you're going to say to him.
I'll probably say something like, "Hello there, Mr. Larrabee, I'm Howard. "
- You're not. - I'm not Howard.
You are not going to say, "Hi, my name's Howard. "
- Anyone can say that, anyone. - Anyone named Howard.
You'll to walk straight up to him...
...and take his hand in a firm masculine handshake and say:
"Mr. Larrabee, I'm Dr. Howard Bannister.
"It is a privilege to meet you, sir. "
- Think you can do that? - Yes, I think I can.
- Well, do your best. Be dignified. - I'll be dignified.
- Be solemn, but not stuffy. - I'll be solemn.
- Act friendly, but impersonal. - I'll act friendly.
- Pull the door open. - I'll pull the door open.
- Well, goodbye, Eunice. - Now, don't be nervous, Howard.
Just remember, everything depends on this.
Now, let's see.
Mr. Larrabee, it's an honor to... No, that's not it.
What is it? It's a...
- It's a privilege to meet you, sir. - Likewise.
The clip the liquor store robbery from Mystic River (2003) with Kevin Bacon, Eli Wallach
-Scary, huh? -Scarier than a glass of milk, right?
So take me through it. These two guys come in....
In rubber masks. They came in through here.
That's the storeroom.
There's a door back there that leads to a loading dock.
I always keep that door locked.
So they must have had a key.
A key? So, what you're saying is that it was an inside job?
It had to be. One of them, at least, worked for me at some point.
The only reason they fired that goddamn warning shot was they must have known...
...I kept this under the counter.
-And you told the police that at the time. -Yeah.
Sure, they went through my employment records.
Questioned everybody who used to work for me.
-Never made an arrest. -Still have a copy of those records?
Yeah, it's in a box in the office there. But I know who did it.
This guy I fired a couple of weeks before.
Son of a bitch came in here a few days after the robbery.
He had this fucking goddamn grin on his face.
And I just knew.
Go tell a grin to a jury, right?
You remember his name?
Do I look senile to you?
-No, sir. -Name...
...was Ray Harris.
We used to call him "Just Ray."
You say they used the same gun for another crime?
-That's correct, sir. -Thanks for your help, Mr. Looney.
The clip She Remembers from The Notebook (2004) with James Garner
So I understand that you read to Miss Hamilton.
Yeah, to help her remember.
You don't think it'll help?
No, I don't.
She remembers, Doc.
I read to her and she remembers.
Not always, but she remembers.
But senile dementia is irreversible.
After a certain point, its victims don't come back.
Yeah, that's what they keep telling me.
Well, I just don't want you to get your hopes up.
Well, thanks, Doc, but you know what they say?
Science goes only so far and then comes God.
Then comes God.
Damn, I forgot to turn the page for her. You through with me?
I guess they flipped that page.
No, that she's playing by memory.
His name is Lon Hammond, Jr.
The clip ben talking to junior at party from Problem Child (1990)
Why aren't you outside?
Clowns are dumb.
It's tough being left out, isn't it?
If I give you something, would you promise to take care of it?
My grandfather gave this to me just before he died.
What is it?
It's a prune, hardened. It's a hardened prune.
Grandfather became a little senile toward the end. He thought it resembled Roosevelt.
But the important thing is that it's a bond between two people.
I've kept it in my pocket for 30 years.
Ben, I want you to meet the Hofsteders!
I know you'll take good care of it.
Ben, move it!
You can't come to my magic show.
This video has created a firestorm for the less intelligent Christians. Many begin this video saying Billy Graham has become senile because he believes God will accept the Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists etc. But the real truth is, is that God is not sectarian and doesn't see with Religious bigotry like many so called Christian zealots have. Hats off to Dr. Robert Schuller and Billy Graham. They see with great vision.
The clip chairman's visit to pakistan from Charlie Wilson's War (2007)
Doc's eating this up. Yeah?
We're gonna get the money. Charlie?
Guy's a little senile. Don't be fooled.
He chairs a Subcommittee? Mmm-hmm.
Charlie, Joanne, this has been an absolutely eye-opening experience.
I mean, it's absolutely stunning.
Tell them what we saw, Mr. Papadropolous. Tell them.
They only want to go back there and fight.
And you're their savior, Mr. Chairman.
Oh, I wouldn't go that far, no. Watch this.
She's gonna lock it right on up. Mr. Chairman,
these people have been waiting for you. They have been sitting here
and bleeding and waiting and praying for you.
It's only gonna be a man like you who can save them.
We know, don't we, about our men,
what they can do when they summon themselves.
Charlie, I think they want you to make some remarks.
No, you should do it, Mr. Chairman.
These people have been waiting a long time for you.
Show Muriel what you can do. Show your wife.
I'm a little bit emotional about what I've seen here today.
You can do it.
Papadropolous. Well, it's Greek. It's in the ballpark.
my son served in Vietnam.
He was wounded fighting in battle against the Soviet oppressors.
I didn't know that about his son.
So, you see, I'm no stranger,
no stranger at all to the horrors and atrocities of the Communists!
The clip the boy's plan from Major Payne (1995)
Damn! He nearly put you in a coma.
Ready on the firing range!
It can't be legal the way he's been treating us.
Turds, commence firing!
Let's just tell Phillips.
Nah, that senile old fool ain't gonna help us.
What kind of shootin' is that?
Hey! Hey, dummy!
What's the matter, you can't see, either?
We gotta get rid of that son of a bitch.
You maggots couldn't hit a bull in the ass!
We're gonna have to prove...
Payne did something so vile,
that Phillips will have no choice but to fire him.
'Cause you have got the biggest tits.
Well, why not Wuligar?
'Cause Wuligar's gotta take the pictures.
The clip Cafeteria lunch from Cry_Wolf (2005) with Kristy Wu, Jared Padalecki
And they only just found that girl this morning...
because her body was dragged through the woods by a wolf.
Yeah. Listen, the guy blew her head off...
then let the wildlife just go to town.
Why does it have to be a guy?
Please. Serial killers are always men.
Just the ones that get caught, baby.
Serial means more than one, jackass.
You're not taking your SAT book to my lake house this weekend, are you?
Right, Owen, my dad... The senator.
The senile drunk, is sending a limo to take us all...
to the lake house on Friday.
Nobody ever stays here on the weekends.
You in? Yeah, sure.
I'm not going to be able to make it, I got plans.
What? By plans you mean herpes, right?
Actually, by plans, I mean I'm going...
to State tomorrow to see the sweet Jenny Ryder.
It's Wednesday. I know.
And I'm declaring my own "Randall Gets Laid" Holiday Weekend.
And I'm going to punch Miss Ryder's v card...
Nice. Thank you.
Can I borrow your car?
Yeah, just, you know, leave the keys on the tire and...
don't get any blood on the back seat.
I wouldn't dream of it.
Actually, I would like this to be special, you know.
Like, in the middle of the woods, up against a tree.
You're a pig. You're a dyke.
Die a violent death.
Yeah well, if that's your technique...
I weep for Jenny Ryder. I bet you do.
So are we going to play the game before the weekend?