The clip fantasy competition part I from Biloxi Blues (1988) with Casey Siemaszko, Markus Flanagan
You're gonna be dead, killed in action.
What do you wanna do with the last few days of your life?
How much time do I have to do it in?
I need 10 days.
It's my game. You only get a week.
What are you gonna do with it, Donny?
Okay. I'd sing at Radio City Music Hall.
Five shows a day, my own spot.
In the audience are 5,000 screaming, gorgeous girls,
and every one of them wants me.
And there's one man... the president of Decca Records...
and he wants to give me a big contract, and I have to make a choice.
Take the record contract. I would take the record contract.
Yeah, right. Right, I'd take the record contract.
He could've humped 5,000 girls, and now he's got a record contract that ain't worth shit!
Wrong, because now I'm a big star,
and everyone knows that stars get all the girls they want. Oh, yeah?
How? You're dead! Girls don't go out with dead record stars!
Hey, bullshit! It's my fantasy! I can do whatever I want with it! What's my score, Gene?
Well, you started off with an A-minus, but you ended up with a "B."
"B." That's better than I ever did in school.
Selridge is next.
Okay, okay, here we go.
I make it with seven of the richest women in the world.
And I'm so hot, each one of'em gives me a million bucks.
So at the end of the week, I got seven million bucks. Pretty good, huh?
If you're dead, what're you gonna do with seven million dollars?
I told you, that's why I need 10 days. I need to take a long weekend and spend the money.
Give up, suckers! I got you all beat!
Moronic. It's beyond moronic. It's submoronic.
Yeah. Go ahead, Jerome. Break their hearts and tell 'em my score.
It lacks poetry. I give Selridge a B-minus.
minus? You give me a B-minus?
This creep becomes a dead record star, and he gets a "B." I want my money back!
Touch that money, and you're dead.
The clip fantasy competition part III from Biloxi Blues (1988) with Corey Parker, Christopher Walken
Yes, give the Earl of Meat Loaf his score. This is a tough one.
I find it completely unredeeming in every way...
morally, ethically and sexually.
But it's got style.
You're sick. You give the highest score to the guy who humps the mother of the British Empire?
Hey, so I'm winning, right? Not yet. There's two more to go.
Epstein's next. I wanna hear what his last week on Earth would be like.
Probably wants to take an English exam at city college.
Hurry up. They're blowing retreat.
Come on, Arnold. It's your last week on Earth. What's your secret desire?
I don't want to say it. If I say it, it might not come true.
I know. He wants to pass gas. He wants to bend over and blow up the whole world.
Will you give him a chance, please? He has one. What is it, Arnold?
What's the last thing you wanna do on this earth?
I would like to make... Sergeant Merwin J. Toomey...
do 200 pushups in front of this platoon.
I hate to admit it, but it's good. It's all right.
Five hundred would've been better.
I think it's terrific. A-plus.
plus? You're crazy. Now you can't win.
I could still tie him. All right. But if it's a tie, all bets are off. Nobody wins.
Fair enough. Somebody else has to judge me.
Wykowski, pick a judge.
Okay, sure. I pick Selridge. I love it!
No matter what crap he says, he gets an A-plus. Your money is safe, boys.
Retreat means lights out, goddamn it!
I never had men do pushups in bed before.
I could start tonight.
Come on, Jerome. Let's hear yours. All right.
The clip jerome's fantasy from Biloxi Blues (1988)
I always wanted to get mine,
wiping out an entire battalion ofJapanese marines.
Forget the medals. What do you do with your last week on Earth?
I would lose my virginity,
win the Pulitzer Prize for Literature...
and fall in love with the perfect girl.
Why don't you just score the winning touchdown for Notre Dame while you're at it?
Give him his score so's we can take our money back.
I give him a C-minus.
What? Hey, I'm not gonna let him beat me with that pissy story.
I came up with something hot.
I'm not giving him an A-plus for falling in love.
Why doesn't he go home and visit Hennesey's family?
Jesus, you're a moron!
Go look in the latrine and see if you dropped your brain.
All right. Come on. Arnold, you win. It's your money.
The clip fantasy bet from Biloxi Blues (1988) with Park Overall
Time magazine estimates the casualty rates for a full-scale invasion...
would be 68%.
Sixty-eight percent of us would be either killed or wounded.
No shit. So out of the group sitting here, how much is that?
Of the six of us here, about 4.3 of us would get it.
Oh, wow! Only 2.7 of us would live.
Listen. If you knew that you were one of the guys who wasn't coming back,
if you knew that right now,
what would you do with the last few days of your life?
It could be anything you want, any fantasy.
I'll give everybody fives seconds to think about it.
I thought of it. I'd be one of the 1.7 coming back.
That's morbid. I like it! Let's play for money.
For money? Yeah. Five bucks a man. The guy with the best fantasy wins.
That's nuts. Okay. All right. I'm in.
We need a judge. I'll be the judge.
Why you? Because I thought of the game.
When it's my turn, someone else judges me. Ante up, everybody.
Come on, Arnold. Five bucks. I don't sell my fantasies.
Don't be like that, Arnold.
Okay. Carney, you're first.
The clip chow time from Biloxi Blues (1988)
It's not bad. It just needs salt and pepper, ketchup and mustard, that's all.
If America dropped this stuff over Germany, the entire country would come out with their hands up.
I saw this stuff in the Bronx Zoo once.
Gorillas were throwing it at each other.
We can get something else. It's a government regulation.
Enlisted men must be served palatable food.
So why don't you ask for some matzo ball soup, Epstein?
I hear the army makes great matzo ball soup.
It's my right to speak up. I'm going to talk to the sergeant.
Don't start in with him, Arnold. He's crazy.
This is probably his recipe. Hey.
How you doin'? Hello, sir.
He's coming for his cup ofhot blood.
Listen, you two guys. Don't give the sergeant any more crap,
'cause when he don't like you, he don't like the rest of us.
Any guy who screws up in this platoon is in deep shit with me. Understand?
Who made you lieutenant colonel? I did.
I promoted myself, and if I have to do any more pushups on account of you, Jerome,
you're gonna be underneath me while I'm doing 'em.
Well, now we know who the fruits are.
Did you guys hear what happened over at Baker Company?
Some guy went nuts, said he was going home.
He didn't want no part of this army.
An officer tried to stop him, and the kid belted him one.
Said the guy's sure to get five to 10 years in Leavenworth.
I thought this was Leavenworth.
The clip 15 mile hike announced from Biloxi Blues (1988) with Matthew Broderick
How're my boys doing? First rate, Sarge.
Surprisingly interesting food, sir.
They don't give you enough. Not hungry, Epstein?
I find enough nourishment in bread and water, Sergeant.
You're gonna need plenty of nourishment with 10 back-breaking weeks ahead of you.
Starting at 5:00 a.m., we're going on a little hike, boys.
5:00 a. M? You'll love it, men.
Nothing like seeing the sun come up over a Mississippi swamp.
You boys arrived here a day late and got to make up that time.
It's a reasonable request to make, isn't it? Jerome?
Well, we sort of elected Wykowski our leader.
I think that he ought to answer that. Is that right, Wykowski?
I don't question orders, Sergeant. I just follow them.
That's a good answer, Wykowski. It's a chicken-shit one, but it's a good answer.
How about you, Epstein? Are you up... 15-mile walk?
Epstein's not up to it, men. Why is that, Epstein?
We've been on a train for three days and three nights.
We haven't had one good night's sleep since we left Fort Dix.
I see. Okay. Fair enough.
Epstein, you're excused from the hike.
Thank you, Sergeant.
Get a good night's sleep, just as soon as he washed, scrubbed and shined...
thejohn, urinal and basin in the latrine.
If it doesn't sparkle when we get back,
then Wykowski and Selridge are gonna do 200 pushups.
That'll put you in good with the boys, Epstein.
I'll see the rest of you men at 4:30 a. m.
Mmm. Lemme see that.
Mmm! Enjoy your meal now, you hear?
"Enjoy your meal now, you hear?"
That's good hominy pigs and black-pea eyeballs.
I've got to make you men strong, because tonight...
we're going to march the entire platoon off of a 3,000-foot cliff.
The clip 15 mile hike announced Part 2 from Biloxi Blues (1988) with Matthew Broderick, Matt Mulhern
Dying makes a man out of you. I died in a war.
They had me cremated. The ashes were buried right here in my head.
You think it's funny, Jerome?
No. I think you're funny, Wykowski. You forgot to eat the aluminum tray.
Come on. Sit down. Get off!
Jesus. I got three enemies now, Jerome...
theJaps, the Germans and you.
I wasn't in on that Pearl Harbor thing.
The clip pushups from Biloxi Blues (1988)
Selridge, hundred pushups. Hit the deck.
Me? I didn't say nothin'. Correct. We're doing this to teach Jerome about discipline.
On your face, soldier!
You think you get my meaning now about discipline?
Oh, yes. Ho. Well, then let's try it out.
I want another man down there to give me a hundred pushups. Pick him out for me.
Who will it be, boy? Speak up, Jerome.
Tell me the name of the man you think is most lacking in discipline.
Well, we really just met on the train, Sergeant.
I don't even know all their names yet. I can understand your reticence to speak up, Jerome.
No one's gonna like hearing his name called.
Why don't you just whisper it in my ear.
Wykowski? He's the biggest man in the company.
That took guts, Jerome, but if that's your wish,
your wish will be obeyed.
Wykowski, a hundred pushups for me and your buddy here. Hit the deck.
Now, who can we pick to join these men in a show of comradeship?
Whisper it to me, Jerome.
The entire platoon except yourself?
By God, that's a good choice.
You won't have many friends here, soldier, but I'll be one of them.
Tell 'em to hit the deck for ya.
You want me to say it? It was your idea.
Platoon, hit the deck. Shout it, boy!
Platoon, hit the deck! Tell 'em what we want, Jerome!
One hundred pushups! The man asked for 150 pushups!
You heard him, men. Count off!
One, two, three,
Three. Four, five,
Five. Six, seven,
eight, nine, Forty.
10, 11, 12,
13, 14, 15, 16, Twenty-eight.
17, 18, 19, 20.
The clip latrine and discipline from Biloxi Blues (1988) with Christopher Walken, Corey Parker
Hey, Fred Astaire, you trying to tell me something?
I have to go to the bathroom, Sergeant.
How're you gonna do that? We don't have bathrooms in the army.
They had them in Fort Dix. Not bathrooms, they didn't.
Yes, they did. I went in them a lot.
I'm telling you, we don't have any bathrooms on this base.
Do you doubt my veracity? No, Sergeant.
Then you got a problem, haven't you, Epstein? Ho-ho.
You bet your ass, ho-ho. You know why you got a problem, Epstein?
'Cause I have to go real bad. No, son.
You got a problem because you don't know army terminology.
The place where a U.S. Soldier goes to defecate,
relieve himself, open his bowels, shit, fart, dump, crap and unload...
is called the latrine.
Latrine, from the French.
You wanna tell us what's funny about that, Jerome?
Well, it's just that you said all those words in one sentence, Sergeant.
Apparently, I don't believe you understand...
the benefit of discipline, do you, Jerome?
The benefit? Yes, I think I do.
Then tell it to me, Jerome. What is the benefit of discipline?
Well, it's to... benefit the army's, uh...
to the way that soldiers...
to... whatever you say, Sergeant.
You looking to get your ass in a sling, boy?
No, Sergeant. It's fine the way it is.
The benefit of discipline is that it will win this war for us.
Therefore, until you learn that fact, I'll just have to keep teaching it to you.
The clip settling into barracks from Biloxi Blues (1988)
Watch out! Let me through!
If this keeps up, we're gonna lose this war. We'll be speaking German in Chicago.
We could all say we caught cold and go on sick call tomorrow.
You don't go on sick call with this guy unless a tank runs over you.
Jesus, this thing's a slingshot.
Is this bunk taken? Oh, no.
I don't mind dying, but I don't wanna get my nose blown off.
What could I do? I could be shot for disobeying orders.
You must've done something to get him so pissed off.
Nothing, I swear. He's nuts.
Maybe the humidity rusted his brain.
That's a good choice, Jerome. I like to walk in my sleep with a bayonet.
I have a curvature of the spine. I can't sleep on this thing.
The heat is getting hotter, isn't it? What's the matter? You girls from the big city can't take it?
I can take whatever you can take, Wykowski.
Don't even tell me. They're shipping us out today? It's chow time.
Chow's on! Wash up, change and let's move.
Maybe there's a place around here where we could eat out.
The clip ho! from Biloxi Blues (1988) with Christopher Walken, Corey Parker
I'd like you to answer when your name is called.
The answer to that question is "ho. "
Not "yes," not "right,"
not "here," not "sir,"
any other unacceptable form of reply,
except the aforementioned "ho. "
Am I understood? Ho.
Peek, David P.
Hennesey, James J. Ho.
Wykowski, Joseph T. Ho.
Selridge, Roy W. Ho.
Carney, Donald J. Ho.
Jerome, Eugene M. Ho.
Epstein, Arnold B. Ho-ho.
Are there two Arnold Epsteins in this company? No, Sergeant.
Just give me one goddamn "ho. " Yes, Sergeant.
Epstein, Arnold B. Ho.
One more time. Ho.
Do I make myself clear, Epstein? Ho.
Do I make myself clear, Jerome? Ho, yes.
Ho what? Ho, nothing.
You having trouble understanding me, Jerome? Ho, no.
I mean, no, ho, Sergeant.
It's just plain "ho. "
The clip tray inspection from Biloxi Blues (1988)
Hold it. You still got two spoonfuls left there, soldier.
Well, I've had enough, Corporal. You take what you want, but you eat what you take.
We don't waste food around here. Eat it.
I believe the corporal said no one leaves here till the trays are empty and clean.
I want all trays extended for inspection. Move it.
Something wrong with your meal, Carney?
Yes, Sergeant. It's the first food I was ever afraid of.
You'll like it about a month from now, because that's how long you'll be sitting here.
Back to your seat.
Don't approve of our cuisine, Jerome?
It's not that, Sergeant.
It's a religious objection.
This is the week that my people fast for two days.
This is July, Jerome. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are in September.
I have an all-religious calendar in my barracks room.
Don't you try that shit on me again.
It's a different holiday.
It's called El Malague�a. El Malague�a?
It's for Spanish Jews.
Carney! Bring your food. Come on.
Put half your food ontoJerome's tray. Yes, Sergeant.
Eat in good health, Jerome, and happy El Malague�a to you.
What's your story, Epstein? Don't tell me today is La Cucaracha.
I have a digestive disorder. It's commonly known as a nervous stomach.
I have a letter from my internist...
at Mount Sinai Hospital on Fifth Avenue.
See, the trouble is you're not on Fifth Avenue, Epstein.
You're in Biloxi, Mississippi.
Corporal, make sure that Private Epstein finishes everything on his tray,
including that letter, hmm?
The clip waiting by the barracks from Biloxi Blues (1988)
You men fall out and fall in on me. Column of twos, down here.
This here platoon is assigned to this barracks.
You will remain here until further instructions from your sergeant.
You will remain on your feet.
No smoking, no goddamn tobacco-chewin'.
No tobacco-chewing? He must think we're stagecoach drivers.
Shut your ass, Jerome. These noncoms hear everything.
Perfect. It only took the army five minutes to turn Wykowski into a robot.
Jesus, I'm drippin' wet. This place is like a steam bath.
I don't know if I can stay here if it's gonna be this hot.
I should've joined the navy. The navy's cooler. The navy's for homos.
I pictured the army different. I pictured a lot of doughnuts and U.S.O. Dances.
The clip sgt. toomey introduces himself from Biloxi Blues (1988)
Hi. How are ya?
Good to see ya.
Drop down and give me 50! Yes, sir!
Hello, soldier. Hello. Hi, Sergeant.
One, two, three four. Hmm.
One, two, three, four.
Sorry, men. Perhaps I didn't make myself clear.
Good. Good. At ease, gentlemen.
My name is Toomey.
Sergeant Merwin J. Toomey.
And I'm in charge of this platoon during your 10 weeks of basic training...
here in beautiful Biloxi, Mississippi,
after which you'll be sent to some shit island in the Pacific...
or some turd pile in northern Sicily.
In either case,
returning to your mamas and papas with your balls intact is highly improbable.
I speak from experience, having served 14 months...
in the North African campaign where 73 percent of my comrades are buried,
having donated a small portion of my brains to this conflict,
the other portion being protected...
by a heavy steel plate in my head.
The clip arrival at biloxi from Biloxi Blues (1988) with Matthew Broderick
Boy, it's hot. This is hot.
Find your company. Company letters are over the door.
You will form a single line.
Be prepared to give your name and serial number to the men at the desk.
What the hell do you think you're looking at?
You just dig! You don't stop digging!
Where are you guys from?
Fort Dix, New Jersey. What's it like here?
It's real rough. We've been here a week.
Ten guys died from malaria. We're burying 'em in here.
Are you serious? He's full of shit. It's a drainage ditch.
I didn't know it was gonna be this hot. This is really hot.
Hey, watch out for the pole!
Jesus! Did you see that? That pole just went down, whack!
Everything falls here... telephone poles, flagpoles.
Bugs eat 'em. Pretty soon we're all gonna go.
Never got this hot in Brooklyn.
This is like Africa hot.
Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.
Better get a shine on those shoes, rookie.
I think they've taken us to a German prison camp.
One, two, three... Detail, halt!
The clip opening credits from Biloxi Blues (1988)
There is no moon
When love is far away
Till it comes true
That you love me
As I love you