The clip tucker's revelation from I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007) with Dan Aykroyd, Kevin James
Enough! I'd rather change my grandfather's diaper
than see two straight guys kissing.
But we're not straight.
We're not. We're in gay love, Captain!
Can't you deal with that? Oh, shut up.
If these gentlemen are gay, then I'm a one-legged parrot.
Anybody seen me with a crutch and a cracker?
I didn't think so.
And who might you be, sir?
Captain Phineas J. Tucker, Councilman.
You may search my record. I hold multiple citations
from Mayor Dinkins, Mayor Koch and, of course, the great Mayor Giuliani.
And let me tell you something. These men definitely broke the rules.
They lied on a government form and they swore it was true,
which is despicable.
But interestingly enough, Excellency,
even though they were deceitful to us all,
I actually believe they ended up doing some good.
What good are you speaking of, Captain?
Well, first off,
they let us know that when a friend is in need,
you go beyond extraordinary lengths to help out.
Whenever, whatever. That's the code.
Then they apparently inspired fellow firefighter Fred G. Duncan
to come out of his super-sized closet,
thus releasing his rage
and preventing what looked like to be an inevitable killing spree.
And most importantly,
they showed us that no matter whom we choose to love,
be they heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, trisexual, quadrisexual,
pansexual, transsexual, omnisexual,
or that thing where the chick ties the belt around your neck and tinkles on a balloon,
it has absolutely nothing to do with who we are as people.
It's true, Councilman Banks.
Let them know.
We're not gay.
The clip tucker's revelation Part 3 from I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007) with Steve Buscemi, Dan Aykroyd
But it's the law. And we all have to abide by it.
I'm sorry, but you did break the law.
Councilman Banks. Councilman.
Well, you better have cuffs for three,
because I'm going to jail with them.
How is that, Captain?
I'm a co-conspirator. I knew all about this little scam
from day one, and I didn't say a thing about it.
Captain! You don't have to do this. Please.
Yeah, he didn't know nothing.
Fine. I'll have all three of you arrested.
Slap some cuffs on me, 'cause I helped them plan the wedding.
I drove them to the airport.
I picked out Chuck's dress.
Yeah, I knew about it.
Dress? Why does everybody assume I'm the woman?
Is it the way I walk? What is it?
And I caught the bouquet! In my mouth. I liked it.
See, that's the way it works with us firemen, sir.
You throw one of us in the fire, we all go rushing in.
You throw one of us in jail, you gotta throw the whole lot of us in jail.
So? What's it gonna be?
The clip kiss from I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007) with Ving Rhames, Nicholas Turturro
I just have to say that as a fellow gay fireman...
He's gay, too?
That's right, fellas, I'm gay.
You guys have a problem with that?
No, no problem. You do whatever you like. Yeah.
And Chuck and Larry,
you've inspired me to want to find my soul mate.
Wherever he may be.
Hey, I'm a 10. I'm a 10.
You're not my type. Sorry.
Fitzer, can we wrap this up?
I just have one more question to ask,
if these gentlemen would indulge me for a moment.
By all means, Mr. Fitzer.
would you say that there's a fair amount of passion in your relationship?
More passion than you can imagine, buddy.
Yes. How wonderful.
Now, if you'd be so kind, I'd like you to kiss each other.
You'd like to... What was that?
Councilman Banks, my clients have been more than accommodating.
And to ask for a display of intimacy in the middle of a crowded room
is simply demeaning.
I'm afraid I have to agree. We seem to have gone
from a hearing about fraud to some kind of weird gay witch hunt.
I'm just saying, Your Exellegance,
that if these two men are as in love as they say they are,
I don't see why this should be a problem.
I'm just asking for one kiss, Councilman.
Yeah! Come on, fellas, show them how real men kiss! Come on!
I will not stand for it! This is unbelievable! No. Absolutely not.
Hey, come on, no. The Councilman agreed.
It's demeaning to us.
Plus, we don't want to get you all horny. Me and this guy, we... It could get steamy.
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
I'm not doing this, Alex.
You know what? Just go for it.
I guess it's showtime.