Destructoid Anthem (The Pledge)
I. There occurs a God
We are but humans
and surely doomed when
Destructoid begins to march
He's got a scanner
for good gaming manners
he may let you see his private robot parts
Don't be scared
He's a gentle god
don't be afraid
just try his website on
we've been inclined
to resist from time to time
no way we'll win
he's got lazers in his eyes
when it's time to join we'll raise his standard high
and shout Destructoid to you we pledge our lives
II. From his mouth we are (in)formed
Oh puny humans
you're so amusing
when you see I burn with epic win
I trade in awesome
and gaming gossip
while the others lie
or just pretend
Lift up your hands
present to me each blistered fist
Callused thumbs and aching fingers
true gamers never rest
let go of fear and anger
and be my, be my newest guest
I have known you since you were but a small child
wild with games and glee
was proud of every painful smile
even when you faced defeat
Every quarter your small hand dropped
or console proudly displayed
Every wish you made for one more life
it was to me you prayed
I have seen your long and lonely nights
battling last the boss
Even though you were fatigued
you would bare not one more loss
So I welcome you unto my domain
my good and faithful servant
IV. Paradiso Profundo
We've got boards we've got blogs
where the women are so hot that it's famous
Vocals - T. Fenchurch Howard
Guitar and arrangement - Darrin Johnson
Drums - Frenchy Mudwhistle
Bass and Keys - Periwinkle Fondlenobs
This took place at Infinite Bits in Miami, FL. During the panel we talked about Destructoid's history, how all of us starting our sites & a surprise visit at the end.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD IT'S THE FIRST EVER EPISODE OF DESTRUCTOID!!!!! First episode includes Red Dead Redemption, Marvel Vs. Capcom 3, NBA Jam Politics and more!
Today on Destructoid, Jonathan and Tara drop a review on Kirby's Epic Yarn and Super Meat Boy, they break down the World of Warcraft Cataclysm ad that aired on the NFL, and try to interpret a tweet from the infamous Cliffy B. Oh, and Tara wears a spacesuit.
Tara is off at Blizzcon, so the lovely Max Scoville steps into the hot pants to assist Jonathan in running down the hot new newsiness on today's Destructoid. We run down the forthcoming Fallout New Vegas patch, check out Jim Cramer going crazy, peep some Bioshock Infinite screens, and show you an awesome EXCLUSIVE trailer for Dungeon Defenders.
Today on Destructoid, Tara and Jonathan take a look at some boobs outside New Vegas, check out the new Tomb Raider co-op DLC, and examine the newfound feminine presence in Call of Duty. Plus, they break down the latest on that crazy Playstation Phone you‚Äôve heard so much about. It‚Äôs a humpday Dtoid special, so lets all get naked patches!
Today on a very special Halloween episode of Destructoid, Jonathan dresses up like a woman, Tara dress like satan, and video games get discussed. 360 users finally have a patch for Fallout New Vegas, Fable 3 fans get angry at Jim Sterling, and Force Unleashed gets reviewed. Destructoid?? More like SPOOKTOID!
Today on Destructoid, Jon Carnage fills in for Jonathan Holmes and madness ensues. Tara breaks down the new Minecraft update featuring Satan‚Äôs realm, Call of Duty Black Ops might have Castro, JFK and Zombies, and Xbox Live gets a face lift in preperation for the Kinect release later this week. Plus, Destructoid has a drink made after it! Yay!
Today we're mixing things up and changing to a roundtable discussion format in honor of the impending release of Kinect. Max Scoville, Tara Long, Jonathan Holmes, and Jon Carnage all huddle together around our tiny table and riff on the Microsoft Kinect. How does it compare to the Eyetoy, Wii, and Playstation Move? What are the launch titles like? Is its release an important moment in gaming? And most importantly, will it say that Jonathan and Tara are morbidly obsese? The answer to all these questions and more on a brand new DESTRUCTOID!
People are going CRAZY for the Call of Duty Black Ops release tomorrow. A couple peeps robbed a Gamestop in Bel-Air, lines are forming for midnight releases as this is written, and footage has even surfaced of the elusive Wii version. A few other non-Black Ops stuff is happening: theres some new characters revealed for Tekken Tag Tournament, Destructoid and Super Meat Boy teamed up to fight Multiple Sclerosis, and Dance Central is spying on your naked body. Buckle up, its the lucky 13 edition of Destructoid!
The gang from Destructoid gathers 'round the round table once again to discuss this fall's hottest release: Call of Duty Black Ops.
Listen: sometimes, a company just doesn't know what to do with their own properties. Sometimes, fan projects have to take the law into their own hands. Guests Tara Long and Jonathan Holmes from Destructoid join Anthony to look at some of the best fan projects ever.
In this very special episode of the Destructoid show, our trusty hosts find a scary machine that provides a glimpse of the future. Journey with us as we travel forward in time and experience DESTRUCTOID 2050.
Today on Destructoid, we've got a whole bushel of reviews for your enjoyment. Donkey Kong Country Reviews hits the Wii in a big way, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood exceeds expectations while Sonic Colors does not, and EA Sports MMA looks fomidable in the ring. In soul-crushingly depressing news, Portal 2 moves a little bit further back, and the cool looking Mega Man Online is slated to be a Korean exclusive. (BTW: If any Koreans have a couch Holmes could crash on, EMAIL US!)
Welcome back everyone. Jonathan and Tara are back from a long, blacked out weekend of turkey and booze, and ready to give you everything you missed in the gaming world. Gran Turismo 5 came out and was reviewed quite favorably by Dale North, Epic Mickey might not SO epic, a brand new world of Destructoid is being created in Minecraft, and Nintendo still sells consoles.
Strap on the diapers and get ready for an ultra leaky Monday edition of Destructoid! Jonathan and Tara break down the gameplay footage of Killzone 3 that got leaked, ponder the wonders of an Android/Gingerbread powered Playstation Phone, discuss the beauty of a WoW Cataclysm dance party, and chat about Street Fighter, as usual. Also, Tara does her best Lara Croft pose, whatever that means.