Nike Torque Titanium Men’s Watch WC0068-502 ($64.99)
Jomadeals: Deal of the Day - August 14, 2009
High-end Digital Sportswatch with sleek Titanium case and band. This deal of the day is $64.99 (67% off the $199 retail price). Time runs out on this sale at midnight tonight (EST).
Leave the stainless steel to Martha Stewart. Real men need titanium (grrrr, I’m flexing my muscles, can you tell? No? …sigh…). This sleek, sporty, titanium dream is a fantastic watch at a huge discount. If you don’t buy, I’ll personally come over to your house and body-slam tackle you into the ground (actually, I’ll probably hire someone to do it; we’ve already established my lack of muscles, and thanks for bringing it up again, btw).
This is a quality, Haute Couture Sports watch if there ever was one (just try to imagine T.O on the catwalk; I heard he has nice legs). It’s tough and sporty, yet sleek and fashionable. Try to imagine, when these athletes finish a game and leave the field/court/bowling ally, they don’t go straight to the gym to blast their quads again (I honestly don’t know what that means, I heard it at the gym the other day…okay, I heard it walking by a gym…okay, fine! I heard it watching a TV show that had a scene in the gym while I sat on the couch eating chocolate-covered bacon ice cream and fell asleep with the spoon in my mouth. Happy?!). They put on a killer suit and drive their sports cars to the best clubs and restaurants, all while using their Nike Torque to remind them of how much time they’ve wasted (of course Nike gave them theirs for free; the best we can do is sell it at a steep discount for almost free; when you learn to throw a 100 yrd touchdown pass or tackle a 300-lb linebacker, then we’ll talk about free).
By the way, chocolate covered bacon is delicious. It’s only a matter of time before Ben & Jerry’s buys the ice cream rights.
BOYISH SAYINGS TO PICK UP CHICKS
1 HEY BABY NICE LEGS WHAT TIME TO THEY OPEN?
2 YOU TURN MY SOFT WEAR INTO HARD WEAR.
3 HER NAME WAS SANDY AND SHE SUCKED ON MY MANHOOD LIKE A PIECE OF CANDY.
4 SHE SPREAD HER LEGS LIKE A GOOD LITTLE HO, AND SO I INJECTED INTO HER MY 12 FOOT POLE.
5 EVEN THOUGH I BEAT HER WITH MY STICK, IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF I DIDN'T LET HER LICK THE LOVE CANDY OFF MY D- -K.
6 GIVE ME SOME LOVEN IS WHAT SHE SAID, SO I LEFT THE EVIDENCE OF MY LOVE FOR HER ON THE BED.
7 I'M JUST LIKE A BEER, POP THE TOP AND YOU'LL GET DRUNK ON WHAT'S INSIDE.
8 LADIES IF YOUR LOOKING FOR SPICE, JUST FOLLOW THE HAIRY TRAIL DOWN MY CHEST TO PARADISE.
9 I'M JUST LIKE A CLOCK, I NEVER MISS A STROKE.
10 I'M LIKE AN ICE COLD BEER, IT GO'S DOWN SMOOTH AND NEVER COMES BACK UP.
11 LADIES I'M A LOT LIKE JACK AND THE BEAN STOCK, NO MATTER HOW HIGH YOU CLIMB, YOU'LL NEVER GET TO THE TOP.
12 LADIES I'M A LOT LIKE A ROLLER COASTER, ITS A HARD RIDE UP AND I'LL SEND YOU DOWN SCREAMING.
13 LADIES IF MY LEFT LEG WAS CHRISTMAS, AND MY RIGHT LEG WAS NEW YEARS EVE, WHY DON'T YOU CUM AND VISIT ME BETWEEN THE HOLIDAYS.
14 LADIES DON'T STEP ON THE GRASS, BUT DON'T BE AFRAID TO WHACK MY WEED.
15 LADIES ALL YOUR MUSCLE MAY BE IN YOUR MOUTH BUT MINE IS IN MY STROKE.
16 LADIES DON'T BE FIGHTING, THERE IS ENOUGH OF MY LOVE CANDY TO GO AROUND, SO YOU ALL WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO RIDE THE LIGHTNING.
17 LADIES IF YOUR SEARCHING FOR A HIGHER POWER, YOU HAVE NO MORE TO LOOK THEN IN MY BOXERS.
18 WHILE YOUR IN THE KITCHEN COOKING BACON, I'M UPSTAIRS IN BED GETTING SHAKEN.
19 LADIES I GOT WHAT YOU NEED, SO I'LL GET TO YOU SOONER OR LATER AND MAKE YOU BLEED.
20 YOU WOULD DO ME IF YOU COULD, BUT YOUR AFRAID OF GETTING SPLINTERS FROM MY WOOD.
21 I'M A LOT LIKE A MAGICIAN, EVERY MORNING I USE MAGIC AND COPPAFIELD.
22 I'M A LOT LIKE A SPRING, JUST WHEN YOU THINK I'M DOWN I R-I-S-E RIGHT BACK UP AGAIN.
23 LADIES I'M LIKE A LIFE RAFT, WHEN MY SHIP IS SUNK, JUST CRANK THE GADGET AND YOU'LL MAKE IT FLOAT ALL THE WAY UP.
24 JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOUR TIRED, I KEEP THE MOTION ROLLING.
25 LADIES I'M A GREAT PILOT, BUT WHEN TIMES ARE ROUGH, I GO DOWN SLOW, DEEP, AND HARD.
26 WHENEVER I'M IN BED I ALWAYS GET SERVICED.
27 WOMEN ARE A LOT LIKE WALL MART, EASY, CONVENIENT, AND ALWAYS OPEN.
28 I'M A LOT LIKE A SAINT, I GIVE AND THE WOMEN RECEIVE.
29 LADIES I'M A LOT LIKE A THORN, YOU CAN PULL ME OUT BUT YOU'LL JUST KEEP BLEEDING.
30 LADIES I'M A LOVE MACHINE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GREECE MY CRANK TO KEEP ME WORKING.
31 LADIES I'M LIKE HE MAN, WHENEVER I RAISE MY DEMON SWORD, YOU'LL RECEIVE MY POWER.
32 FIRST I SMOOTH TALK THE LADIES, GET TO FIRST BASE, THEN S--L--I--D--E ALL THE WAY HOME.
33 MY LOVE BULLETS NEVER MISS THEIR MARK, AND YOUR SMILE WILL ALWAYS LIGHT UP MY SPARK.
34 LADIES I'M LIKE A SUCKER, YOU SUCK UNTIL ALL THE SWEETNESS IS GONE.
35 LADIES I'M LIKE A DRUG ECSTASY, ONCE ADDICTED YOU CAN'T GET OFF.
36 LADIES I'M LIKE A SCREW, THE DEEPER I GO THE HARDER I GET.
37 I'M A LOT LIKE A SERVICE STATION, I'M ALWAYS OPEN AND THEIR'S ALWAYS EASY ACCESS TO MY PUMP.
38 LADIES I'M LIKE TECHNOLOGY, I IMPROVE MYSELF WITH EVERY INCH.
39 IT'S HARD TO TAKE A BONE AWAY FROM A DOG, BUT IT'S ALWAYS EASY FOR A HOT CHICK TO GET A BONER FROM ME.
40 DURING SEX MY PENIS MAY LOOK SMALL TO YOU BUT LIKE THEY SAY, EVEN A 747 JET LOOKS SMALL INSIDE OF THE GRAND CANYON.
41 WHEN WOMEN SCREAM MY NAME, I CUM FOR THEM JUST LIKE THAT.
42 MAY I PLEASE GLAZE YOUR DONUT?
43 IF YOU REALLY WANT TO PUNISH GUYS, FORCE THEM TO GET MARRIED THEN THEY WILL BE REALLY SORRY.
44 WIPE YOUR SHOES ON THE RUG BEFORE YOU STEP UP TO A PLAYA.
45 I LIKE A FEMALE THAT TAKES GREAT DICKTATION.
46 I LIKE TO PLAY PING PONG WITH MY DING DONG.
Peter Bishop & Tony LiveComedyMusic,Hip Hop,Atlanta Ga.,Dancing Under the Influence of Music,Electronic,Bass,New Music,Unsigned Hype,World Star Hip Hop,"Dui Music" "Future Love" "Unsigned Hype" "Hip Hop" Rap Electronic "Atlanta Ga." "New Music" "Girls Fighting" "Nice Ass" "Breast Tits" "Chicks Fighting" "Beautiful Woman" "Halle Berry" "hot chilli" "Hot Shit" "Fat Ass" Futuristic "Dance Music" Space Indie "Tracy Morgan" "andre 3000" "nice legs" feet "high hills" stilettos funk "music video" "How to get featured"