From the movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back - Jay (Jason Mewes) sets up Brent (Seann William Scott) by outing him as a dirty sheep f***er.
The clip Arriving to Court from The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) with Seann William Scott
What are we waiting on, judge? Let's finish this thing.
Well, I guess it's that time.
I just can't believe that nobody wants to object.
All those in favor of the strip-mining ordinance?
They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard?
How can they do that?
Don't worry, we're about to stop them.
All those opposed?
What the hell is that? Who locked that door?
Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.
I think we got some people who might like to object to this strip-mining issue.
Okay, all those opposed to the strip-mining ordinance?
This court hereby declares that the strip-mining ordinance is dismissed.
Thank you much. Thank you, Boss. Hi, how y'all?
She might be a little low on gas.
Were you really gonna strip-mine Hazzard, Mr. Hogg?
I was thinking about it.
The clip Opening The Safe from The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) with Kevin Heffernan, Seann William Scott
Watch your ass, fellas.
This is the fastest-burning fuse you got, Sheev?
It's a Chinese fuse.
Might be a wet fuse.
Well, should we check it?
Depends if you like how your face is configured, pretty boy.
I think you got the wires backwards.
They're supposed to be. It's a Chinese fuse.
No, backwards from how they're supposed to be.
You ever been to China? Have you ever been to China?
I ate Chinese food once.
Well, you don't blow up mu shu pork, my friend.
I dated a Korean girl in school.
That is a different Oriental nation. Get an education.
You got the fuse wrong.
You know nothing about...
... Chino-Sino-American relations.
You're missing the point.
Might've used too much.
Man, that rattled my sphincter.
What the hell is that? Drugs?
Don't look like no drugs I ever saw.
What the hell are these numbers?
It's a core sample.
Mining. They drill a hole, take a sample, send it to the lab, see what they got.
Core samples of what?
How should I know?
Am I wearing a white coat here? I cut bait and blow shit up for a living.
Take it to a lab.
The clip Finally using the Public Toilets from American pie (1999) with Seann William Scott, Thomas Ian Nicholas
You seen shit-brick lately?
Why? What did you do to him?
See, I'm the one whose ass he kicked.
But, uh, I'll tell you one thing, though.
I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore.
Slipped a little something into his mochaccino.
Right this way, sir.
It's gonna be fun.
You know it's just gonna be some crappy band and stupid decorations.
You're just saying that because prom's a week away and you don't have a date.
No, no, no. I don't want a date.
Finch is goin' stag and... so am I.
God, he's like so... refined.
You think that older woman thing is true?
Yeah, it's true. It was Stifler's mom.
Joanie, was that you?
Can't hold it.
Coming to theatres this November is a close encounter of the kind that we generally don't see--the reverse kind.
Featuring both Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Seann William Scott in a pairing we haven't seen since The Rundown, Planet 51 features a race of aliens who live in nigh-perpetual fear of an alien invasion. Their fears, however, aren't so unfounded as a human astronaut crash-lands on Planet 51. Can the stranded astronaut get back to his ship and return home safely, with the help of a few of the planet's denizens? Or wil he be captured and dissected? Check out the trailer!
There's nothing quite like a few good subverted tropes, and Planet 51 seems to have a few of them. Will it help this one rise up to the top of the box office? Or will it burn out on entry? Hit the comments section below and file your report! Thanks for watching.
Planet 51 Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Jessica Biel, Justin Long, Seann William Scott, Gary Oldman, John Cleese
Planet 51 movie trailer provided by TriStar Pictures. Planet 51 opens in US theaters on November 20th, 2009. Planet 51 is directed by Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad and Marcos Martinez.
The clip Stifler and Oz at Class from American Pie 2 (2001) with Chris Klein, Seann William Scott
Come on, Ozzy. It's show time.
Before you go to Ann Arbor to pick up Heather...
I wanna show you what you're missing.
See what they are today, dude. See what they are today.
Okay, here we go. Moment of truth.
There's little hearts on her panties!
There's little hearts on her panties! Come on, look, you pussy. Look.
What the fuck, man? Come on!
I'm disappointed in you.
Here it is, the end of our freshman year and you screwed one girl.
You're a disgrace to men everywhere.
Look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year...
and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby.
All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay?
You find a girl. You two become best friends.
You don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other.
You laugh at the people who do count.
Here's a new idea for you.
I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
Okay, people, notebooks closed. Let's get this exam rolling.
Oh, shit! Do we got an exam today?
Are you kiddin' me?
The clip Stifler's Brother arrives from American Pie 2 (2001) with Seann William Scott, Chris Klein
That was it.
Right there. That was a pure tantric moment.
The fiicus, the water- it was all erotic.
One more stimulant, I would have had full release.
Finch, stay the fuck away from that fiicus.
That's a jizz-free fiicus.
There he is. Morning, Jimbo. How's the twig and giggleberries, man?
Oh, very colourful. My dick looks like a paint-by-numbers.
You're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual.
Casa de Stifler.
You're here now? No, that's cool.
You know, if you want to hang out with these guys.
Okay, then. I'll meet you out front.
Hey, Stifler, was that-
Eat shit, Shitbreak.
My lady has arrived.
I gotta prepare.
Here we go.
Great. Stifler's mom is here?
This could be a disaster.
Not unless Stifler's mom drives a moped.
Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. How you doin', boys?
That's Stifler's little brother.
What are you doing here?
Pussy, man. I'm here for the pussy.
Take a number.
Gentlemen, why all the noise? Everybody knows this is my special day.
What is that?
Is that a fuckin' dress?
Are you wearing a dress?
The clip Stifler approach the lesbians from American Pie 2 (2001) with Seann William Scott, Lisa Arturo
Hey, Steve, look what I found.
Dude, don't touch the shirt.
Brilliant. You found lesbians.
Good luck trying to break through that force field.
We never said that.
We never said that.
I will do anything
anything- to sleep with you chicks.
Okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room.
I'll caress it, even. I'll shave some ass if they need it.
Oh, yeah. You heard me.
It's true. I'll kiss everybody here. Dudes, chicks, everybody.
Because I am comfortable with my sexuality.
At least have a drink with the Stifmeister.
You truly are a Stifmeister.
Welcome back to the party.
Steve, those are my lesbians.
Ladies, I am down with the funky shit.
One time at this party, I was drinking champagne-
The clip Fishing chicks with football from American Pie 2 (2001) with Seann William Scott, Chris Klein
Where are the fuckin' females?
Jim, can't you leave your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away.
Dude, give him a break.
Ozzy, go deep.
Yeah, bro. You playing?
No, keep going. Flank pattern.
What are you doin'?
Are you okay?
I'm so sorry. Is everybody okay?
The Force is strong in that one.
The clip Oz and Heather have phone sex Part 2 from American Pie 2 (2001) with Mena Suvari, Seann William Scott
Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself. What else do you want me to do?
Why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's.
Stifler, get off!
I am getting off just listening to the two of you guys.
We should try this another time.
Yeah, all right. Bye. I love you.
I love you.
Come on you, guys. I was almost there!
Nice talking with you, Steven.
The clip Rule of Three from American Pie 2 (2001) with Thomas Ian Nicholas, Seann William Scott
Sure. Well, we're friends.
But it's not like I see her making plans with anyone else.
I don't see her with a boyfriend. I think that puts me on deck.
Hey, Vicky only slept with one guy since we went out.
I mean, that like makes me 50%% of her entire guy-related life.
She didn't sleep with one guy. She slept with at least three.
When a girl tells you how many guys she slept with...
multiply it by three and that's the real number.
Didn't you fuckers learn anything at college?
He did not sleep with three girls, much like Sly and the Family Stone...
aren't gonna dance in here and gang-bang me...
between the afros and the bell-bottoms, okay?
It's not gonna happen.
Kevin did not sleep with three girls.
Why would he lie to me?
It's not a lie. It's an adjustment. The rule of three.
The rule of what?
If a guy tells you how many girls he's been with, it's not even close to that.
Take that number and divide it by three. Then you get the real total.
So, if Kevin's saying it's been three girls, it's more like one, or none.
Rule of three.
It's an exact science, consistent as gravity.
The clip Arriving Grand Harbor from American Pie 2 (2001) with Seann William Scott, Thomas Ian Nicholas
Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbour!
Deck the halls! Bye-bye, Great Falls!
Wipe my ass and lick my balls!
It's Stifler time, baby!
Stifler, if you're gonna be living with us, you gotta behave yourself.
All right, you and Finch just stay out of each other's way.
Kevin, Stifler's stench is unavoidable.
Finch, fist yourself.
That's right, baby. We're here.
Yeah, baby, we're here!
The clip Life is Like a Racetrack from The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) with Seann William Scott
Listen and learn, General.
And now, side two of the Al Unser, Jr. story:
No Questions, Only Unsers, as read by Laurence Fishburne.
"I'm too old for this shit. "
That's what I was thinking as I turned into the final lap...
...running fourth at Talladega.
But then it hit me. Life is like a racetrack.
You gotta keep going round and round.
That is so true.
Sure, sometimes you crash and burn.
But if you don't make the turn, you ain't never gonna learn.
So I gripped the wheel tighter, checked my gauges, and made my move.
Make my move. Give you my move. Make it, mother-
The clip Mr. Pullman Returns from The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) with Seann William Scott
Hey, Mr. Pullman. I nearly shit myself.
How you doing, sir?
Oh, I'm fine.
You ready for that big Hazzard Rally this weekend?
Yeah, I got him all tuned up. Right, General?
How many times you won that, anyway?
Four in a row, sir.
Four in a row.
That's good. Billy Prickett won it four in a row, and look what he's doing today.
Hey, you been hunting?
Yeah, I been using those new whammy shells.
They scatter less for when you really wanna blow a hole in something.
Are you delivering all by yourself today?
Oh, no. I never travel alone, sir.
I like to think I travel with the man upstairs.
You know, Jesus.
You know, I like that attitude.
I'm gonna look around and find a boy like you...
...to date my daughter, Laurie, pretty soon.
Because she's getting curious about boys, you know.
Oh, you're talking about sex, right?
I just wanna keep that sorry cousin of yours away from her.
The way he looks at her galls me. You know what I mean?
You get back here right now, you son of a bitch.
Get back here.
Why you running, you chickenshit?
You get the hell off my sister.
Damn you, Luke! You get back in the house!
Go, Bo, go!
Put on a shirt!
Come on, come on, come on.
I forgot about the brother. Go!
So happy hour?
You're gonna get us shot someday.
Not with you driving the getaway car.
The clip Phone Book Fight from The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) with Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville
Nice driving, cuz.
I won the bet, you son of a bitch.
Oh, come on.
I didn't break any bottles, so I won the bet.
I was just joking about the bet.
Oh, you were joking?
Still getting the phone book, though.
Come on, double or nothing.
Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy.
Which side you want, right side or left?
Did I hear one of your teeth break?
I don't remember the Hazzard phone book being that thick.
This is Atlanta.
Bet was over. I can't believe that happened. I mean, the bet was over.
What are you doing?
Where you want it?
Where you want it?
That was a good one.
Right in the ball sack. God.
In case of dehydration.
That'll put lead in your pencil.
Man, I'm already tired of walking.
You could use a little exercise.
Them jeans of yours look tighter than Daisy's.
Oh, yeah? I bet you a cold beer I could beat you to The Boar's Nest.
That's five miles.
The clip Meet Daisy from The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) with Seann William Scott
Hey, Dil, what do you want? We just ordered.
By the looks of this place, I'll take two bottles of Pepto...
...and a shot of penicillin, right?
Jesus, mother of Mary.
Look away, man. Trust me, look away.
Don't worry about it. I won't hurt her.
There ain't nobody in this bar concerned about you hurting her.
All right, all right.
Y'all ready to order?
You better be reading my nametag, friend.
I am, I am. I noticed your initials were double D.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
I'll give you one more chance.
You wanna order, or you wanna sit around and make stupid jokes?
Ain't gotta get fussy. We're having a good time.
I'll tell you what, I'll order. We don't want no problems.
Do those legs come over easy?
Oh, my God.
How about the special, sir?
You stop bothering that nice girl and pick on somebody your own size.
Hey, it's Billy Prickett!
Welcome home, boy.
You old mule.
Why don't you cool off, Dil?
Come on, boy. Let's get out of here.
My, my, my.
Holy hell, Luke. There he is, right there. That's Billy Prickett.