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The clip Assurance pirates Part 5 from The Meaning of Life (1983) Full speed ahead, Mr. Cohen! "Up, up, up your premium "Scribble away and balance the books "Scribble away, but balance the books "It's fun to charter an accountant "And sail the wide accountancy "To find, explore the funds offshore "And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy "It can be manly insurance "We'll up your premium semiannually "It's all tax-deductible We're fairly incorruptible "Sailing on the wide accountancy" And so, they sailed off into the ledgers of history... ...one by one, the financial capitals of the world... ...crumbling under the might of their business acumen. Or so it would have been... ...if certain modern theories concerning the shape of the world... ...had not proved to be disastrously wrong.
13 Nov 2011
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2:00
The clip The Conversation menu from The Meaning of Life (1983) Isn't this nice? How are ya? Take a little Kodak. Thank you. Thank you very much. Good evening. Would you care for something to talk about? That would be wonderful. Our special tonight is minorities. That sounds real interesting. What's this conversation here? That's football. You can talk about the Steelers-Bears game Saturday... ...or you could reminisce about really great World Series. No, no. What is this one here? That's philosophy. Is that a sport? No, it's more of an attempt to construct a viable hypothesis... ...to explain the meaning of life. What was that? What's he saying? That sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling? Sure. Why not? Philosophy for two? Right. Room? -259. 259. How do we...? You folks want me to start you off? We'd appreciate that. Okay! Look. Have you ever wondered just why you're here? We went to Miami last year and California the year before- No, no, no. I mean, why we're here, on this planet. No. Right. You ever wanted to know what it's all about? Nope. Righty-ho! See, throughout history, there have been certain men and women...
13 Nov 2011
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2:00
The clip The Conversation menu Part 2 from The Meaning of Life (1983) ...who've tried to find the solution to the mysteries of existence. Great! And we call these guys philosophers. And that's what we're talking about. Right! That's neat. You look you're getting the idea, so I'll give you these conversation cards. They'll tell you a little about philosophical method, names of famous philosophers. There you are. Have a nice conversation. Thank you very much. He's cute. Yeah, real understanding. I never knew Schopenhauer was a philosopher. Yeah. He's the one that begins with an "S." Like Nietzsche. Does "Nietzsche" begin with an "S"? There's an "S" in "Nietzsche. " Yes, there is. Do all philosophers have an "S" in them? Yeah. I think most of them do. Does that mean Selina Jones is a philosopher? Yeah! Right! She could be. She sings about the meaning of life. Yeah. That's right. But I don't think she writes her own material. No. Maybe Schopenhauer writes her material. No. Burt Bacharach writes it. There's no "S" in "Burt Bacharach. " Or in "Hal David. " Who's Hal David? He writes the lyrics. Burt just writes the tunes. Only now, he's married to Carol Beyer Seger. Waiter? This conversation isn't very good. I'm sorry, sir. We do have one today that's not on the menu. It's sort of a specialty of the house, you know? Live organ transplants. Live organ transplants? What's that?
13 Nov 2011
1988
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2:00
The clip Ordering a conversation from the menu from The Meaning of Life (1983) Isn't this nice? How are ya? Take a little Kodak. Thank you. Thank you very much. Good evening. Would you care for something to talk about? That would be wonderful. Our special tonight is minorities. That sounds real interesting. What's this conversation here? That's football. You can talk about the Steelers-Bears game Saturday... ...or you could reminisce about really great World Series. No, no. What is this one here? That's philosophy. Is that a sport? No, it's more of an attempt to construct a viable hypothesis... ...to explain the meaning of life. What was that? What's he saying? That sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling? Sure. Why not? Philosophy for two? Right. Room? -259. 259. How do we...? You folks want me to start you off? We'd appreciate that. Okay! Look. Have you ever wondered just why you're here? We went to Miami last year and California the year before- No, no, no. I mean, why we're here, on this planet. No. Right. You ever wanted to know what it's all about? Nope. Righty-ho! See, throughout history, there have been certain men and women...
13 Nov 2011
324
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1:00
The clip Ordering a conversation from the menu Part 2 from The Meaning of Life (1983) ...who've tried to find the solution to the mysteries of existence. Great! And we call these guys philosophers. And that's what we're talking about. Right! That's neat. You look you're getting the idea, so I'll give you these conversation cards. They'll tell you a little about philosophical method, names of famous philosophers. There you are. Have a nice conversation. Thank you very much. He's cute. Yeah, real understanding. I never knew Schopenhauer was a philosopher. Yeah. He's the one that begins with an "S." Like Nietzsche. Does "Nietzsche" begin with an "S"? There's an "S" in "Nietzsche. " Yes, there is. Do all philosophers have an "S" in them?
13 Nov 2011
359
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1:00
The clip Ordering a conversation from the menu Part 3 from The Meaning of Life (1983) Yeah. I think most of them do. Does that mean Selina Jones is a philosopher? Yeah! Right! She could be. She sings about the meaning of life. Yeah. That's right. But I don't think she writes her own material. No. Maybe Schopenhauer writes her material. No. Burt Bacharach writes it. There's no "S" in "Burt Bacharach. " Or in "Hal David. " Who's Hal David? He writes the lyrics. Burt just writes the tunes. Only now, he's married to Carol Beyer Seger. Waiter? This conversation isn't very good. I'm sorry, sir. We do have one today that's not on the menu. It's sort of a specialty of the house, you know? Live organ transplants. Live organ transplants? What's that?
13 Nov 2011
984
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2:00
The clip Grim Reaper from The Meaning of Life (1983) Yes? Is it about the hedge? I'm awfully sorry, but- I am the Grim Reaper. Who? The Grim Reaper. Yes, I see. I am death. Well, we have some people from America for dinner tonight- Who is it, darling? A Mr. Death or something. He's come about the reaping? I don't think we need any now. Hello. Don't leave him hanging around outside. Ask him in. I don't think it's quite the moment. Do come in. Come and have a drink. Do. Come on. It's one of the little men from the village. Do come in. Please. This is Howard Katzenberg from Philadelphia. And his wife, Debbie. Hello there. And these are the Portland Smythes, Jeremy and Fiona. Good evening. This is Mr. Death. Well, do get Mr. Death a drink, darling. Yes. Mr. Death is a reaper. The Grim Reaper.
22 Nov 2011
7160
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The clip Grim Reaper Part 2 from The Meaning of Life (1983) with Graham Chapman, John Cleese Hardly surprising in this weather. So you still reap around here, do you, Mr. Death? I am the Grim Reaper. That's about all he says. There's your drink, Mr. Death. Do sit down. We were just talking about some of the awful problems facing the third- Would you prefer white? I'm afraid we don't have any beer. The Stilton's awfully good. I am not of this world. Good Lord. I am death. Isn't that extraordinary? We were talking about death five minutes ago. Yes, we were. You know, whether death is really the end- As my husband Howard here feels, or whether there is... ...and one hates to use words like "soul" or "spirit"- What other words can one use? Exactly. You do not understand. No. Obviously not. I'll tell you something, Mr. Death. You don't- I'd like to express on behalf of everybody here... ...what a really unique experience this is. Hear, hear. We're so delighted that you dropped in. Can I just finish, please? Mr. Death. Is there an afterlife? If you could wait, please- You sure you wouldn't like some sherry- Angela, I'd like to say this, please. Quiet! Can I just say this, please? Silence! I have come for you. You mean to- Take you away. That is my purpose. I am death. Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?
22 Nov 2011
1758
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1:34
The clip Grim Reaper Part 3 from The Meaning of Life (1983) with John Cleese, Michael Palin I don't see it that way, Geoff. I think we're dealing with... ...a potentially positive learning experience that can- Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and you say: "Let me tell you something" and "I just wanna say this. " Well, you're dead now, so shut up! Dead? Dead. All of us? All of you. Now look here. You barge in here quite uninvited, break glasses... ...then announce quite casually that we're all dead. I'd remind you that you're a guest in this house- Be quiet! Englishmen! You're all so fucking pompous! None of you have got any balls. Can I ask you a question? What? How can we all have died at the same time? The salmon mousse. Darling, you didn't use canned salmon, did you? I'm most dreadfully embarrassed. Now the time has come. Follow. Follow me.
22 Nov 2011
2286
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1:34
The clip Grim Reaper Part 4 from The Meaning of Life (1983) Just testing. Sorry. Follow me. Now. Come. The fishmonger promised me he'd have some fresh salmon. He's normally so reliable. Can we take our glasses? Good idea. Hey! I didn't even eat the mousse. Honestly, darling, I'm so embarrassed. It really is embarrassing. To serve salmon with botulism at a dinner party is social death. Shall we take our cars? Why not? Good idea.
22 Nov 2011
673
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0:55
The clip Death Part 2 from The Meaning of Life (1983) I'm no good anymore. I want to end it all! Good-bye! Good-bye! Oh, my God! Oh, no! What'll I do? I can't live without him! Mummy! Mum, where are you? Daddy? Mummy? Mummy?
22 Nov 2011
224
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2:00
The clip Live Organ Transplants (Galaxy Song) from The Meaning of Life (1983) Don't worry, dear. I'll get it. Yes? Hello. Can we have your liver? What? Your liver. It's a large glandular organ in your abdomen. You know, it's reddish-brown, sort of- Yeah, yeah, I know what it is, but I'm using it. Come on, sir. Don't muck us about. Hello! What's this, then? A liver donor's card. Need we say more? No. Listen, I can't give it you now. It says, "in the event of death. " My God! No one has ever had their liver taken out by us and survived. Just lie there, sir. It won't take a minute. Here. What's going on? He's donating his liver, madam. Is this because he took out one of those silly cards? That's right, madam. Typical of him. He goes down to the public library, sees a few signs up... ..****es home all full of good intentions. He gives blood, does cold research, all that sort of thing. What do you do with them all, anyway? They all go to saving lives, madam. That's what he used to say. "It's all for the good of the country," he used to say. Do you think it's all for the good of the country? Do you think it's all for the good of the country? I wouldn't know about that, madam. We're just doing our jobs, you know? You're not doctors, then?
22 Nov 2011
934
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2:00
The clip Live Organ Transplants (Galaxy Song) Part 2 from The Meaning of Life (1983) with Eric Idle Blimey, no. Mum, Dad, I'm off out now. I'll see you about 7:00? Right, son. Look after yourself. You fancy a cup of tea? That'd be very nice. Thank you. Thank you very much, madam. I thought she'd never ask. You do realize he has to be... ...dead by the terms of the card... ...before he donates his liver. I told him that, but he never listens to me, silly man. I mean, I was wonderin'... ...what you was thinkin' of doin' after that. I mean will you stay on your own? Or is there, well, someone else, sort of... ...on the horizon? I'm too old for that sort of thing. I'm past my prime. Not at all. Very attractive woman. Well, I'm certainly not thinking of getting hitched up again. Sure? Sure. Can we have your liver then? I would be scared. All right. I'll tell you what. Listen to this. "Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown "And things seem hard or tough "And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft "And you feel that you've had quite enough "Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
22 Nov 2011
401
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1:12
The clip Live Organ Transplants (Galaxy Song) Part 3 from The Meaning of Life (1983) with Eric Idle "And revolving at 900 miles an hour "It's orbiting at 19 miles a second So it's reckoned "A sun that is the source of all our power "The sun and you and me And all the stars that we can see "Are moving at a million miles a day "In an outer spiral arm at 40,000 miles an hour "Of the galaxy we call the Milky Way "Our galaxy itself contains 100 billion stars "It's a 100,000 light years side to side "It bulges in the middle 16,000 light years thick "But out by us, it's just 3,000 light years wide "We're 30,000 light years from galactic central point "We go round every 200 million years "And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions "In this amazing and expanding universe
22 Nov 2011
399
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1:12
The clip Live Organ Transplants (Galaxy Song) Part 4 from The Meaning of Life (1983) "The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding "In all of the directions it can whizz "As fast as it can go The speed of light you know "Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is "So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure "How amazingly unlikely is your birth "And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space "'Cause there's bugger all down here on earth" Makes you feel so insignificant, doesn't it? Yeah. Can we have your liver, then? Yeah, all right. You talked me into it. Eric!
22 Nov 2011
219
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2:00
The clip Middle Age - Philosophy For Two from The Meaning of Life (1983) Could've guessed it. That's much better. Thank you, honey. You're welcome. It was all sort of misty before. That's fine. Hey! How are you? We're just fine. What kind of food would you like this evening? We sort of like pineapple. Yeah, we love pineapple. Yeah, anything with pineapple in it is great for us. How about the Dungeon Room? That sounds fine. Sure is. It's real Hawaiian food... ...served in an authentic medieval-English-dungeon atmosphere. Isn't this nice? How are ya? Take a little Kodak. Thank you. Thank you very much. Good evening. Would you care for something to talk about? That would be wonderful. Our special tonight is minorities. That sounds real interesting. What's this conversation here? That's football. You can talk about the Steelers-Bears game Saturday... ...or you could reminisce about really great World Series. No, no. What is this one here? That's philosophy. Is that a sport? No, it's more of an attempt to construct a viable hypothesis... ...to explain the meaning of life. What was that? What's he saying? That sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling? Sure. Why not? Philosophy for two?
22 Nov 2011
1612
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