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1:20
As the final ferry shoves off, bartenders and waitresses MOON IT!
18 Jul 2009
493
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3:20
sometimes opportunity is disguised as trash. Hear this great story of how a piece of trash could have resulted in a 25% plus raise for this waitress.
9 Oct 2008
75
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0:50
Aloha and Mahalo for visiting Ono Kine Kona Coffee, which is the tradename from the original Ono Kine Country Cookies located at the Aloha Stadium Swap Meet. ONO KINE MEANS: ONO~LICIOUS or DELICIOUS! If you are ever in a restaurant and the waiter/waitress asks you, How was your meal? Here in Hawaii, it is traditional to respond to him/her, The food was sooo ONO! or It was ONO~LICIOUS! Ono Kine Kona Coffee and Ono Kine Country Cookies is 100% Ono~Licious and distributes a wide range of various Hawaiian Cookies, Hawaiian Sweetbreads, Hawaiian Pretzels, Hawaiian Haupia Pound Cakes, Ono Kine Kona Coffee Cakes, Ono Kine Kona Coffee Shortbread Macadamia Nut Cookies and of course Hawaiian Grown Fresh Roasted Ono Kine Kona Coffee ~ 100% Kona Coffee ~ Whole Bean or Ground. *Come and visit us at the Aloha Stadium Swap Meet every Wednesday Section 11~D Stall #10, Saturday Section 7~D Stall #20 and on Sundays at the Corner End of Section 10~D. *If you cannot find us, please call (808)741-4965 for directions to our location. We are open for business 7:30am - 4:00pm every Wed-Sat-Sun.
20 Oct 2008
1618
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5:59
Read the lyrics below if the sound is too shitty. This is me performing jokes at the Ft. Lauderdale Improv. Thanks, guys, thanks, guys. How are you ladies doing? I didn't say, "How are you guys doing," because I don't give a fuck about the guys. I saw this guy reading a book the other day at work, it was one of those For Dummies books, you seen these? The yellow For Dummies books? Why would you read that book, why would you walk around with a book that insults you? I'm a dummy, this book calls me an idiot, just to let you guys know. That's like a guy walking around with a book that says Dating for Assholes. And it's silly, too, because the book he was reading, uh, was called Reading Books for Dummies. It's like, how can you learn what your learning disability is? Why do they put ads on racecars? You know? Jiffy Lube, zyoom...! Wonderbread, zyoom...! Who's idea was that? Sorry, man. But who's idea was that? Let's put ads on a car going 200 MPH so everyone can see it. I think they should put ads on turtles. Broadcasting on turtle crossings nationwide. That reminds me of when I grew up in this neighborhood, the people who designed my neighborhood, I always thought that they were assholes cuz when they put the turtle crossing, they built it across a 6 lane highway. That's cruel, how are you gonna put a turtle crossing across a 6 lane highway? And they have a speed limit sign that just says "Fuck you!" Every time I drive over it my car goes, "Joot joot joot joot joot joot joot joot joot." It's the circle of life, it's the circle of life! Because the kitty cats come out and eat the carcasses. And I used to loved to go pet them because I'm really good at petting kitty cats. I just now exactly where to hit the spot, and at the same time while I'm petting them I go, "Yes, I love to pet the pussy, I love to pet the pussy." You think that's funny? It's funnier to me cuz at the same time, their face, they're looking at me, they go, "Rehrrrr! Rehrrrr!" They love that shit. Which reminds me: if someone tells you they're a pathological liar, do you believe them? Cuz to be completely honest with you guys, I'm a liar. Like, people always ask me, "Hey, Mike! How come you never answer the question you're being asked?" So I tell them: "Because it tastes great. Because it tastes great..." Well, you guys are cool, I'll be damned. No, really, I'll be damned. I sold my soul to the goddamn devil. And all I got was a shirt for it, she gave me a shirt. The shirt she gave me says: "I sold my soul to the devil and all I got was this lousy T-shirt." That's a terrible trade-off. That's right, she. In my joke Satan is a woman cuz I believe a woman has every right to be portrayed as the devil. For once. Thank you. Speaking of which... which... (sneeze) Speaking of witches, what's this replacing "history" with "herstory"? You know March is Women's Herstory Month? That's a bullshit word. Feminism is ruining the Ingles language. You never hear anyone say, "Try reading the wo-manual." Well, I guess unless you need to learn how to be a bitch. Am I right? (goes to hi-5 a cross-armed woman, who refuses) Looks like someone's been reading her wo-manual! She's got the 2009 edition. See, I'm—I'm not like other guys. Like, I'm not that into sports. I'm more into games like, like you know, sports, somebody wins, someone loses, it could go either way every time. I like games where everybody loses. Like voting for president! Or sex after 60. Or sex with 60 year olds, in my case. No! Uh... Am I right? (goes to get hi-5 again from same woman, who again refuses) I've been meaning to ask you, what is that? (points at random spot on the table; when they look, walks away) If you guys read the newspaper, you might be aware of this recent—I recently read this in the paper. This is for those of you who don't keep up to date with the latest news... as of yesterday. But did you know the Latinos are the #1 Hispanics in South America? Sorry, Spanish people, you were #2. And that's all you'll ever be... I was at Denny's the other day, you guys been to Denny's? The waitresses there freak me the fuck out. They look like they play in the WNBA, they're giants! I wonder where they make this—this, uh... Denny's waitress factory. What are they making these waitresses out of? They're 60 feet tall, they come up to your table: Bookh! Bookh! Bookh! "Can I get you guys anything else? OK." (suck air) Bookh! (suck air) Bookh! (suck air) Bookh! The other ones that don't sound like that sound like they've been smoking since they were 3. "You didn't want the blueberries?" No, there's blood and vomit in it, Paige. Before I let you guys go, I just wanna tell you this thought I had the other day. You know, the thing that I really wonder about a lot is, I wonder who the best rapist in the world is. I'm juhbuh juhbuh. Go to myspace****/jubuhjuhbuh. (goes off stage to make love to pretty ladies)
1 Jul 2009
1184
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1:53
Waitress gets even with rude customer!
28 Jan 2009
542
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2:24
Based on true events in the midst of the 2000 election, AMERICAN VIOLET tells the astonishing story of Dee Roberts, a 24 year-old African American single mother of four young girls living in a small Texas town who is barely making ends meet on a waitress’ salary and government subsidies. Durring a huge drug bust, she is indicted based on the uncorroborated word of a single and dubious police informant facing his own drug charges, Dee soon discovers she has been charged as a drug dealer. Even though Dee has no prior drug record and no drugs were found on her in the raid or any subsequent searches, she is offered a hellish choice: plead guilty and go home as a convicted felon or remain in prison and fight the charges thus, jeopardizing her custody and risking a long prison sentence. Despite the urgings of her mother (Academy Award® nominee Alfre Woodard), and with her freedom and the custody of her children at stake, she chooses to fight the district attorney and the unyielding criminal justice system he represents. Joined in an unlikely alliance with an ACLU attorney (Tim Blake Nelson) and former local narcotics officer (Will Patton), Dee risks everything in a battle that forever changes her life and the Texas justice system. AMERICAN VIOLET also stars Emmy Award® winner Charles S. Dutton and Xzibit.
20 Mar 2010
846
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2:24
View Full Movie only at *******moviego.info Based on true events in the midst of the 2000 election, AMERICAN VIOLET tells the astonishing story of Dee Roberts, a 24 year-old African American single mother of four young girls living in a small Texas town who is barely making ends meet on a waitress salary and government subsidies. On an early November morning while Dee works a shift at the local diner, the powerful local district attorney leads an extensive drug bust, sweeping her Arlington Springs housing project with military precision. Police drag Dee from work in handcuffs, dumping her in the squalor of the womens county prison. Indicted based on the uncorroborated word of a single and dubious police informant facing his own drug charges, Dee soon discovers she has been charged as a drug dealer. Even though Dee has no prior drug record and no drugs were found on her in the raid or any subsequent searches, she is offered a hellish choice: plead guilty and go home as a convicted felon or remain in prison and fight the charges thus, jeopardizing her custody and risking a long prison sentence. Despite the urgings of her mother, and with her freedom and the custody of her children at stake, she chooses to fight the district attorney and the unyielding criminal justice system he represents. Joined in an unlikely alliance with an ACLU attorney and former local narcotics officer, Dee risks everything in a battle that forever changes her life and the Texas justice system. Genre: Drama Director: Tim Story Cast: Nicole Beharie, Tim Blake Nelson, Will Patton, Michael OKeefe, Xzibit In theaters: April 17, 2009 Copyright © 2009 Samuel Goldwyn Films
29 Mar 2009
930
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1:44
The story begins in 1957 in the star-filled skies above California's Mojave Desert. It is a special night for noted astronomer Ted Lewis, who is preparing a special dinner for his beautiful, adoring wife Lana to celebrate their wedding anniversary. In another part of town, Tammy, a waitress at small local diner with big plans for the future, looks out her window and is excited to see a shooting star, which she takes as a good sign for her dreams. But, what Dr. Lewis and Tammy assume is a shooting star, is really an alien spaceship. The fiery ball hurtles toward earth and crash-lands on a butte in the desert. The only witnesses are teens Dick and Penny who are necking in a nearby lover's lane. A tall, metallic alien named Urp emerges from the craft unharmed, alarmed to discover that the monstrous Ghota, who was also on board, has escaped. The menacing one-eyed creature's unquenchable appetite could mean the end of civilization as we know it. Urp is the only one who knows how to stop the hideous extra-terrestrial, but to do so he has to take over the body of Dr. Lewis and enlist the aid of Tammy, the only human in town willing to believe and trust in his mission. The local police - including Chief Dawson and Officer Vern - are confirmed skeptics and offer little help. Together, Urp and Tammy must hunt down the Ghota and neutralize it before it consumes all the local inhabitants and uses the human fuel to multiply and conquer the world!
11 Mar 2009
1068
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1:34
Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy, (Jenni Baird) a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind
24 Mar 2009
77
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8:21
Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy, (Jenni Baird) a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind.
25 Mar 2009
261
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0:26
Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy, (Jenni Baird) a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind.
25 Mar 2009
156
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0:08
Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy, (Jenni Baird) a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind.
25 Mar 2009
237
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0:27
Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy, (Jenni Baird) a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind.
25 Mar 2009
106
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0:21
Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy, (Jenni Baird) a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind.
25 Mar 2009
81
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0:55
Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy, (Jenni Baird) a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind.
25 Mar 2009
112
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1:00
Set in 1957, Alien Trespass chronicles a fiery object from space that crashes into a mountaintop in the California desert, bringing the threat of disaster to Earth. Out of the flying saucer escapes a murderous creature – the Ghota, which is bent on destroying all life forms on the planet. A benevolent alien from the spaceship, Urp, inhabits the body of Ted Lewis (Eric McCormack) – a local astronomer – and with the help of Tammy, (Jenni Baird) a waitress from the local diner, sets out to save mankind.
25 Mar 2009
72
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