Basic English
My wife came in and said, "Theo got a new girlfriend today." Theo is four and a half months old. It's his first real pacifier, and he makes the most salacious faces when dive-bombing onto this thing. It's supposed to be a weird kind of mushroom. It looks absurd. "I don't think of it as losing a son," my wife concluded, "as gaining a chew toy."
what on earth is it to do with anything
totally beyond me sorry
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