Winter Rap

This is the end-all, be-all of seasonal-based rap songs.

Lyrics: Fall's over - and it's gettin' real cold
Time for people to leave for Florida that are old
Time for Grandma not to drive at night cause she dread
Time to go down a skateboard ramp on a sled

I got a big coat and I'm wearin 3 layers
these gloves were real cheap so I don't care that they look gayer
Than hell - I hear bells - is that santa and his sleigh?
Or is it a volunteer who wants to take your pay?

And give it to people less fortunate than you
How dare he, the commie, that's red but not white & blue
Winter ain't about that, so warm up your car
Fill it up with cheap recession gas while you freeze your nards

Off, cause the temperature is very, very low
Then get in, start it up, and let the heater blow
yeah the nipples are really pointy on your girl's boobs
but she's really turned off by your booger ice cubes

------------chorus--------
Get winterized - plow through the ice
Get winterized - low speeds suffice
Get winterized - snow blowin device
I advise, get supplies, you despise, the suprise

when the weather man is right
It's winter!
----------------------

scrape the ice off of your windshield
Can't remember excactly how it is your fingers feel
Can't use the hose cause you got a frozen spout
And now you got to drive in a total white out

Winterfresh gum seems redundant
People outside complainin' like pundits
Can't stay warm no matter how hard you try
And my ding dong's shrunk to like half it's normal size

Drive to work's darkness only beaten by drive home
That kid froze his steps to stop burglers in home alone
You have to drag your trash from the house to the curb
And it sucks dealing with your dog's frozen turds

and my spider sense is tellin' me you won't be thrilled
when you open up the mail get your next heating bill
Winter's time for all the faith specific holidays
Like Christmas, Kwanza, and Chanuka-na na na na nah na,

na na na na nah na - gettin' Jewish wit' it.


--------chorus-----------

Everybody on the road say SALT!
Everybody on the road say SALT!
Now wave your hands in the air
Now stop before you get hypothermia

--------chorus-----------
Get winterized - plow through the ice
Get winterized - low speeds suffice
Get winterized - snow blowin device
I advise, get supplies, you despise, the suprise

when the weather man is right
put on your coat, it's winter!