Gabrielle *Bitch* (Xena Warrior Princess) [13+]

Okay listen up...by know ya'll should know the drill...No??....ahhhgrr...for Zeus sake... I Callisto 127612 do not own Xena and the gang...the wariors at RenPic, Universal, Mount Olympus do bless their little cotton socks for that. I'am also not the proud owner of Meredith Brooks, she belongs to herself (that Bitch)... :-) As politeness goes I would apriciate your comments, I eat just about anything except driande bones, they are like Harpies on a bad monday on my digestion for the love of Aphrodite or as Gastacius said: What you have done here is madness. Its _madness_ that Art will never take second place to rules and regulations. "

BARD (to the tune of "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks)
I sing a song of me today.
You thought I was straight, I know, but I have changed.
Tried to tell you, but you looked at me like maybe Im a bacchae underneath, lying through my teeth.
Last season I tried.
You must have been relieved to see my sapphic side.
I can understand how you'd be so confused.
Im always touching you. Im a tease for every audience, All rolled in subtext.

I'm a bard.
I'm a lover.
I'm a child.
I'm not a mother.
Im a widow. (That marriage was lame. Boy, I feel ashamed.)
I'm a sidekick.
I fight a little with a stick.
I've got great abs in the middle.
You know you wouldn't want it any other way.
So take me as I am. This may mean you'll have to see me with a man.
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous, And Im nibbling Joxers ear, Tonight well snuggle by the campfire, and Ill wipe away your tear.
I'm a bard.
I'm a lover.
I'm not a child.
I'm a mother?!
Im a widow. (I was insane. Really, it didnt mean a thing.)
I'm a sidekick.
Im a blonde.
I love fishing in the pond.
You know you wouldn't want it any other way Just when you think you got me in your arms, The episode's already changin. I think it's cool that pinch thing you do, but dont try it on me. I'm a bard. I'm a lover. I've got a child?! Whos the father?! Im a widow. (It was foolish. I was trying to make you jealous.) I'm a sidekick. Im a redhead. I should have married you instead. You know you wouldn't want it any other way. I'm a bard. I'm a Queen. I'm an Amazon on my knees. When you're horny, When you suffer, Im the one to play your doctor. I've been grieving. Im kissed. Wont say we did it on purpose. You know I wouldn't want it ANY other way