Submissive Jesus Prayer Answering Talking Head #2 [13+]

Tags:
God Atheists Christian Prayers Mythology Fantasy Hero Jehovah Religion Faith Delusion
pirromount
  • By: pirromount
  • Subscribers: 3
  • Updated: 11-May-09
  • Videos: 41
  • International International
  • Comments: 33
  • Views: 7,964
  • Added: 05-Mar-07

Sorry that this video is out of sync. I have no idea why it uploaded that way. Anyway, YES, this is a real product. Get 'em before they get hot! You can buy it at www.thesubmissivejesus.com. This works like the magic 8 ball, but instead of getting yes and no answers as text, the Submissive Jesus talks to you and answers your prayers. The actual price is $29.95 (not $24.95 as it says in the video - that was the pre-order price). We are no longer selling the 'limited edition' version. However, it's very likely that for at least the next few months, you will be the ONLY person in your neighborhood or at your job who has one of these. Oh, and check out our two OTHER Submissive Jesus commercials here at Metacafe (just type 'Submissive Jesus' in the search window). Praise Jesus and the tooth fairy.

  1. Categories: Comedy
  2. Related Link: Submissive Jesus
Comments on

Submissive Jesus Prayer Answering Talking Head #2

33 Comments | Add Comment
  • A Christian knows that God's will be don...

    Luke 4:12 And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

    Luke 4:13 And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.

    By u.s.falconer 1173001915 Reply Spam [+5] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • Here's one...

      [clearing throat]

      Andy 3:19 - U.S. Falconer is so profoundly deluded by him inane religious beliefs and so profoundly devoid of true faith that he can't simply IGNORE a two minute internet commercial. Being so afraid of the mere possibility of being wrong and looking like a fool, he lashes out at anything that poses a threat to his beliefs and therefore his intellect. True faith doesn't have to be explained, rationalized, or defended. The fact he responded at all is the compelling factor and the ultimate proof of his weakness, insecurity, and lack of true faith.

      Got faith? Me no think so.

      Godless Bastard dot com

      By Godless Bastard 1173729530 Reply Spam [+1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • ACEPT JESUS

      ACEPT JESUS AS YOUR ONLY LORD AND SAVIOR,LIVE FOR HIM,AND YOU WILL SEE MIRACLES IN YOUR LIFE!!! ALELUYA!!!!JUST TRY!!!

      By Hnos 1179754802 Reply Spam [+1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • dear godless bastard

      Understand this: Those of us who know God and read history understand that mocking God definitely puts you on the wrong side of His favor.

      You should turn to God with your whole heart. Perhaps this time you will see the Light.

      By christian warrior 1185897309 Reply Spam [-1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • dear christian "warrior"

      KNOW this: Those of us who KNOW that god is imaginary put US on the right side of sanity and logic. You suffer from a clinical delusion, but it's not too late for you. This kind of ailment can be fixed. Find your sack and learn to deal with life on your own terms and not those defined by a god that doesn't exist. Cowardly, gullible, and weak is no way to go through life. www.godlessbastard.com

      By Godless Bastard 1185897848 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • You KNOW?

      Now you have even surpassed reasonable rules of logic. How can you know there is no God?

      And how do you explain creation? You even look at paintings and know there is a painter. When you see the fullness of a 3-D tree and mountains, how do you explain there existence?

      Your words are violent because of their aggressive nature. It is the product of a fearful soul. What do you fear? I know: God's wrath!

      By christian warrior 1185900142 Reply Spam [-1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • fun stuff

    I think Jesus would laugh too. He is full of laugher and love. Not of hate. If you're a christain, act like one, show love and not hateful comments.
    WWJD? :P

    By xatan 1173162307 Reply Spam [+2] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • IF YOU KNOW JESUS

      IF YOU ACEPT JESUS AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR,THEN YOU CAN UNDERSTAND JESUS,BECAUSE THIS IS VERY SERIOUS,AND HE DONT LIKE JOKES LIKE THIS ONE,PLEASE ACEPT JESUS FIRST, AND YOU WILL KNOW ABOUT HIM,HIS WORD IS GOING TO MEKE YOU FREE!

      By Hnos 1179755356 Reply Spam [+1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • how can i say gd comments about this

      you guys just made fun of jesus Christ and u want me to say gd comments. you should show ppl that Jesus christ will answer evryone who prays for something not by buying a toy which is called jesus prayer answering talking head. This is so stupid thanx for making the christian name a joke or a laugh.

      By dnt have a clue 1173463997 Reply Spam [-1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • Figures

      This moron's ID is "dnt have a clue." Ain't that the truth.

      By Godless Bastard 1173729138 Reply Spam [+3] Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • MAY GOD

    FOR THE PERSON WHO MADE THIS VIDEO, MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL .

    By vince the pogi 1173154676 Reply Spam [+2] Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • wells.

    sorry for being so emotional but I really cannot stand it.

    By x.f.x. 1173005908 Reply Spam [+2] Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • WTF

    HOW CAN YOU INSULT ONE'S BELIEF LIKE THAT? THIS IS SO DISRESPECTFUL! F THE PERSON WHO CREATED THIS ITEM! AND YOU, PIRROMOUNT, SHOULD NOT UPLOAD THIS ITEM, YOU HEAR ME?

    By x.f.x. 1173005842 Reply Spam [+2] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • Jesus Who?

      Jesus is a bake sale.... Kinda like girl scout cookies...

      By AdamnZ 1173240909 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • Um, you hear ME?

      Leave. Don't come back. Please. Just like a typical Christian...so afraid of hearing what might be true. God is a farce. Deal with it.

      By Godless Bastard 1173729959 Reply Spam [-1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • godless bastard

      If you are so sure you're correct, why are you so violent in your words. While you have been rejected elsewhere, Jesus will accept you.

      It may be Jesus who is calling you right now...

      By christian warrior 1185897849 Reply Spam [-1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • I think someone's faithless...

      ...and that would be you. Only someone so unsure of what they claim to have such faith in would waste their time lecturing an atheist. Atheism threatens your intellect because it labels you as delusional. If you had but an ounce of faith you wouldn't waste your time. But please do enjoy our most recent Submissive Jesus ad (#4)! And you realy need to get a sense of proportion. My words are violent? Violent? Okie dokie. No, R**e and murder are violent. This is civil criticism. Grow up.

      By Godless Bastard 1185898310 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • These comments are hysterical!!!!!!!

    This verbal sparring between Spawndude and Piromont are the funniest thing I've seen here on this site! Piromont, go easy on this Spawndude kid, he sounds like a real retard. His comebacks are so futile, it's like spitballs against a battleship, but I'm lovin' it. By the way, I tried to buy a Jesus head, but I was told they were on backorder already! What's up with that???

    By herbiepie 1175024454 Reply Spam [+1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • Glad you're enjoying the comments

      Regarding the backorder of Jesus heads, we just placed a new order from the Chinese manufacturer and the next batch should be here soon. So go ahead and place your order at www.thesubmissivejesus.com and we'll get it out to you ASAP. As we've said before, the difference between our Jesus and the biblical Jesus is we guarantee ours will arrive.

      By pirromount 1175046017 Reply Spam [-1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • it's too bad that

    people don't understand why prayers seem unanswered.

    this video is how some Christians actually pray... they pray their own will and gripe that God didn't answer, didn't hear, doesn't care when in reality their prayers are selfish and are not in His will.

    He knows what is best.

    By Neigh 1173395857 Reply Spam [+1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
    • I'm afraid you've got that reversed...

      Christians don't understand why prayers seem ANSWERED.

      It's called CHANCE. Pray to a head of lettuce for the same thing and you'll find the IDENTICAL response, statistically. Some get answered, some don't, and the rest you'll just have to wait and see.

      By Godless Bastard 1173729745 Reply Spam [+1] Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • NEW SUBMISSIVE JESUS COMMERCIAL

    Hey sinners...
    Check out our new Submissive Jesus commercial on this site and all over the web. For those of you keeping track, it is Submissive Jesus ad #4. This one takes place in a conference room with God, Jesus, Buddha, the Tooth Fairy and a rare appearance by the Muslim prophet Muhammad. Enjoy.

    By pirromount 1186041011 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • ACEPTA A CRISTO

    NO TENEMOS QUE TOMAR A CHARLA EL PADECIMIENTO DE CRISTO POR TODOS NUESTROS PECADOS,PRUEBEN A CRISTO,CONVIERTANSE A EL ,HUMILLENSE,AMEN AL SENOR JESUS DE TODO CORAZON ,LEAN LAS ESCRITURAS,HAGAN LO QUE EL DICE Y VERAN QUE SI CONTESTA TUS PETICIONES,ASU TIEMPO Y EN SU VLUNTAD,DIOS LES BENDIGA!!!

    By Hnos 1179754606 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • A comment from the creator of this video

    We receive a fair share of 'hate' mail through here and our website www.thesubmissivejesus.com. And it's fascinating to see how many are upset by this little toy. As there's no such thing as bad publicity, our sales are doing quite well, but we have to wonder how many of these 'haters' felt the Muslims were ridiculous when they got upset over the Danish cartoon of their imaginary hero Muhammad? Did these Christians feel that they were justified in all the unrest they caused, or did they think they overreacted? Just curious about how people who live in religious bubbles think when they're relating to people living in different religious bubbles.

    By pirromount 1174966933 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • Pirromount is HYSTERICAL

    Hey Pirromount, you should be a comedy writer. Your replies to the idiotic comments here are a scream!! Keep 'em coming. I'll be coming back here daily just to keep on reading your posts. Classic!!!

    By hotblackmomma 1173426316 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • shame on you

    im not christian but how dare you to do something like this im muslem but jesus is our god messanger and you have to respect him as you respect the other messanger .... may god forgive you

    By top model 1173272024 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • Not a Christian

    But I hope we keep all Religions out of metacafe.

    By kuk114@optonline.net 1173242407 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • Awesome! Are these available in Europe?...

    Please tell me that you ship these to Europe. Do you have an international distributor? Is there a bulk price, like if I wanted 1000 of them? How long have these been available?

    By hotblackmomma 1173038058 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • This is some funny S**t !

    I actually bought one of these things. What's really hysterical is the instruction manual that comes with it.

    By andy222 1173033780 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
33 Comments | Add Comment