The Magic Toilet - Look Ma, No Hands!

WARNING - You are about to view a REAL TOILET / BIDET. It is old. It is NOT a pretty sight. It is definitely NOT a TV-version of a spotless, sanitized, showroom-quality toilet. I am not responsible for any feelings that you may develop of shock, horror, revulsion, etc., or any damage that may occur to your fragile psyche. I suggest you send your children out of the room first. Viewing this video implies acceptance of an agreement not to sue me for what may happen after ......... Okay. Now that the squeamish have left, the rest of you can see a real functioning bidet in action (well, kind of). Most Americans probably have never seen this (I first saw them two years ago). Here are some of the details: Widely used in Europe and South America for over 100 years, very popular in Japan, just starting to make inroads into the US. Life is so much simpler with one in your house. And you'll singlehandedly :-) stop global warming! What more could you want? It's faster, neater, gentler, and better at cleaning than the old-fashioned way. You'll be amazed. It's especially great for handicapped people, the elderly, children, anyone who has difficulty with self-care. People are often embarrassed to look at this great improvement to modern hygiene, but that's just silly. Here's your chance to see one in action. (And soon you'll be wanting one too....) Used by both men and women, old and young, sick and healthy. Lots of models, prices from $30 - $1000+, takes 30 minutes to install if you have a little do-it-yourself plumbing knowledge (mine connects to the water inlet right under the toilet tank). My unit cost me $80 (I didn't like the cheapest models), installed it myself in 30 minutes, it will save me $30/year in toilet paper (families will save $100+ per year!). Plus all the money you'll save on plumbers since you'll have fewer clogged-toilet problems (which is often the result of over-use of toilet paper). Plus it does a better job of cleaning.
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Note: in the interest of full disclosure, celebrities don't actually use this $80 bidet! No. They use the $27000 version, which includes an assistant who turns the water handle for them, and then pats their ass dry afterwards! I just use a square of toilet paper.....
Go watch and enjoy!