Cult Of The Immobile Robot - Destructoid Anthem (The Pledge)

Destructoid Anthem (The Pledge)

I. There occurs a God

We are but humans
and surely doomed when
Destructoid begins to march
He's got a scanner
for good gaming manners
he may let you see his private robot parts
Don't be scared
He's a gentle god
don't be afraid
just try his website on
we've been inclined
to resist from time to time
no way we'll win
he's got lazers in his eyes
when it's time to join we'll raise his standard high
and shout Destructoid to you we pledge our lives

II. From his mouth we are (in)formed

Oh puny humans
you're so amusing
when you see I burn with epic win
I trade in awesome
and gaming gossip
while the others lie
or just pretend
Lift up your hands
present to me each blistered fist
Callused thumbs and aching fingers
true gamers never rest
let go of fear and anger
and be my, be my newest guest

III. Sermon

I have known you since you were but a small child
wild with games and glee
was proud of every painful smile
even when you faced defeat
Every quarter your small hand dropped
or console proudly displayed
Every wish you made for one more life
it was to me you prayed
I have seen your long and lonely nights
battling last the boss
Even though you were fatigued
you would bare not one more loss
So I welcome you unto my domain
my good and faithful servant
Love, Destructoid

IV. Paradiso Profundo

We've got boards we've got blogs
about gaming
where the women are so hot that it's famous
also cocks

Vocals - T. Fenchurch Howard
Guitar and arrangement - Darrin Johnson
Drums - Frenchy Mudwhistle
Bass and Keys - Periwinkle Fondlenobs