The clip Jeremy's Nervous from Now You Know (2002)
Get this guy a drink.
God, look at this shit. This makes me sad.
I bet you've been getting horror stories about married life, am I right?
Yeah, I've gotten a few.
Don't believe the hype, sir.
I incurred all that shit back when I was getting married.
Everyone told me all sorts of bad things about getting married.
None of those horror stories happened to me.
I fucking... I love being married. I fucking love it, dude!
My wife is my life. And you know what the secret to marriage is?
You get out of it what you put into it.
Exactly what you put into it.
If your life in marriage becomes some sort of horrible Stephen King novel...
it is because you yourself are Dolores Claiborne.
Guys have this weird thing about marriage.
They see it as this big fucking commitment, but that's just bullshit, man.
'Cause commitment, I always say, is just a word. Okay?
Commitment is just a word. By the time you're ready to get married...
you've already been in a committed relationship for a while, right?
So at that point, marriage is just a ceremony and a killer fucking party...
and a change in your tax status, that's right.
Well, I guess you're right.
Of course I'm fucking right!
That's why I'm sharing this with you 'cause I know it's tough to find a commiserator amongst all these knuckleheads.
No, I appreciate it. I appreciate that. Thank you.
And let me tell you about one more thing to ease your conscience... the bachelor party.
The bachelor party is kind of like declaring martial law...
for married guys, or about-to-be married guys.
So, what I'm saying, is at that point...
all the rules and all the structures get kicked to the fucking curb, right?
So that means you relax, you have a good time... a very good time.
No worries, man. No worries.
Yeah. All right.
I love you. I love you to death.
Thanks for coming.
Uh, that'd be me. Excuse me, gentlemen.
Jeremy, I'm gonna get out of this exactly what I put into it.
You are tall, ain't you?
"Commitment is just a word. "