The clip Alan Shemper's Camp days stories from Wet Hot American Summer (2001) with Michael Showalter
There's not much time left.
When I was at camp, my favorite activity was always arts and crafts.
Or as we used to call it, arts and "farts" and crafts.
We used to make drawings.
Which is my way of saying we were cavemen.
I went to camp so long ago that I can remember saying...
"Sticks and stones may break my bones," and meaning it!
I went to camp so long ago that fucking Jesus Christ was my counselor!
And my best friend hadn't fully evolved yet.
His name was Ugh, and he walked on all fours!
There were two epidemics when I went to camp.
Head lice and the plague... the bubonic plague.