Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998): Eddy's Plan

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The clip Eddy's Plan from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) with Jason Statham, Dexter Fletcher

T...
The clip Eddy's Plan from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) with Jason Statham, Dexter Fletcher

The odds are 100-1.
All is we need is five grand.
I'd rather put my money on a three-legged rockin' horse.
The odds are 100-1 for a good reason, Bacon
it won't win!
Where's Eddie?
Where do you think?
The bottom of a bottle, and has been for two days.
It's hit him hard.
Yeah, it's hit us all hard!
Yeah, but he's got to tell his dad he's about to lose his bar.
Listen to this one.
You open up a company, called "Arse Ticklers Faggots Fan Club"
You what?
You take out an advert in the back page of some gay mag,
advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos.
You sell it with... I dunno...
"Does what no other dildo can do until now"
"The latest and greatest in sexual technology"
"Guaranteed results or money back", all that bollocks. "
Now, these dilds cost 25 quid a pop -
that's a snip for the amount of pleasure they're gonna give the recipients.
They send their cheques to the other company name.
Nothing offensive, "Bobby's Bits" or something, for 25 quid.
You take that 25 quid, you stick it in the bank until it clears.
Now this is the smart bit.
You send back the cheque for 25 pound
from the other company name -
"Arse Ticklers Faggots Fan Club" - saying "We're sorry,"
we couldn't get the supplies from America
because they ran out of stock.
Now you see, how many people cash that cheque.
Not a single soul.
Because who wants their bank manager to know...
they tickle arse when he is not paying in cheques!
So how long do you have to wait till you see a return?
Probably no more than four weeks.
A month? So what fucking good is that if we need it in six
no, five days?
Well, it's still a good idea.
He may know we smoke a lot, burn a bit of profit, but he can't have any idea
how much hard currency we've accumulated.
I don't know. Do you know?
We can just... slice it off the top.
You guys have got to realise who this chap is.
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