Convincing Your Youth Athlete They Need Mental Toughness Trainin

Need Mental Training? http:www.mentaltoughnesstrainer.com

I have been following you for a little while now and I have to say you have great stuff! I'm really impressed with the resources you are offering. As a former Olympic medalist in rowing I understand the importance of the mental component of competition and training. 

I'm wondering if you can help me, help you, make $97? I'd love to buy your program for my son but so far he has said he's not really interested. 

A little background: he's a big 15 year old basketball player that is really good but could be so much better. #1 issue is assertiveness. It's getting better and when he "turns it on" he dominates. Many times he shrinks from the moment, plays tentative, and generally does not live up to what he displays in practice. I could be wrong, but that seems to be mental thing, not physical. I showed him the video you have where you talk about the basketball player and perfectionism and I think it made sense to him. I have had him speak with a lady I know that does mental training (another Olympian) and she gave him some exercises that he said helped. His coach understands and has been giving him some ideas on preparing mentally.

I just think what we are doing now is a little piecemeal and he needs something more comprehensive (ie your program). When I mentioned it to him he said he'd rather just try the stuff he's been given for now (Made sense and I think it got a little overwhelming for him so I backed off). 

He had a game yesterday where he started strong and then in the 2nd half (when the other team started to get on a roll) he started to play tentative again. The coach sat him. I had to drive home and read your 10 commandments for parents article before I talked to him! I see what he needs to do and how much some comprehensive mental training could do to help but I don't want to force it on him (wouldn't work anyway). 

Any ideas on what can I say or do to lead him to the conclusion that he should give mental training some serious consideration and specifically, your program?

Good thing you went back and read the 10 commandments! 

So, for starters, you want to pick your time and ask him if he would
like your advice and feedback about his game.  If he says "no" then you have to honor that. That doesn't mean you can't keep asking that periodically and at some point, he will say "yes."  Ask him when/how it would be appropriate for you to offer that guidance.

Once he says yes, the best way for you to help him is to stick with asking questions.  Try to get him to come to conclusions without telling him directly...

You: So son, what do you think held you back from performing your best in the second half today?  (teenager's typical response will be "I dunno")

You:  Were you aware that you weren't playing as well in the 2nd half? What was that like for you?  How did you feel when you noticed the other team catching fire? What did you observe about the other members of your team? 


Your goal with these types of questions is to get him to recognize that
his performance dropped off due to his perceptions, thinking, and emotions in the midst of the game. And that there's no amount of practice or preparation that will change that if the mind doesn't change. 

If you find another good time (timing of these conversations is critical), then see if you can point to other games where his play dropped off or was exceptionally good and, using questions only, get him to see that he plays good when he is thinking and feeling confident.   Feel good = play good.  

Too many athletes think that "feel good" just happens by some magic and they just hope and pray that they fall into that. The fact is, it's something that can be developed and learned just like any physical skill.  

Bottom line, your job is to get him to see that his mind determines his level of play and always has in the past...he just hasn't made that connection yet.  Some players never do and buy into the brainwashing of coaches that all you have to do is work harder. That's great but there's countless athletes who worked themselves to death and never made it to the next level. 

In conjunction with that, I would put together some quotes and/or videos from famous athletes and coaches about the importance of the mental game.

Get on our training series list by entering your email in this sign up box at http://www.TeenMentalToughness.com. And just to get you started, you'll get my guided visualization, "Master The Pressure," and an eBook on how to be a great sports parent. Go to http://www.TeenMentalToughness.com now!

1. By: wendylynne
2. Categories Sports
3. Views 11
4. Added :24-Jan-12
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