The clip Ira's Ambitions from Funny People (2009) with Seth Rogen, Steve Bannos
Here you go, ma'am. Your tamales.
Thanks for shopping at Otto's.
I'm going up at the Comedy & Magic Club doing stand-up.
You should come watch me.
Don't let him suck you in. He's not funny.
Nah, he's right, man. No way, man. That shit was painful.
I mean, it was hard watching you suffer up there.
I had fucking nightmares after that.
That was a long time ago. That was months ago.
I've gotten a lot funnier since then.
Then you bored my wife to sleep.
I couldn't get no pussy that night, man.
Don't blame me for your pussy issues.
Are they gonna pay you?
Pay me? No!
That's just how it starts. You don't get paid in the beginning.
You gotta, you know, work your way up through the ranks.
My nigger, how the fuck you in show business
when you got no business to show?
I'm supposed to be writing jokes.
I'm supposed to be doing comedy.
I'm not supposed to be making macaroni salad.
I hate it, man. It's depressing. Otto's sucks!
You don't know about no motherfucking hard time, man.
I'm a ex-convict, man. Otto's the only place that would hire me.
You too good for Otto's now?
I'm not too good for it.
I just don't... It's not for me, you know, I'm sorry.
See that bridge? 1,200 bucks.
On the house, man! Otto, man! Otto's my lotto.
Come on, man, look. I can't work here anymore, all right?
What, you gonna be on TV or some shit like that?
I am gonna be on TV. The chunky guy on Survivor or some shit?
No, I'm gonna be like Seinfeld.
Get the fuck out of here, man!
You ain't gonna be like Seinfeld.
Seinfeld's my motherfucking man!
Kramer gets a pass from me 'cause Kramer's my nigger.
Well, very forgiving of you.
Look, as a friend, man, let me tell you something.
You're not funny.
I think I'm funny.
I got new jokes, man, and they're good.
Let me hear one of your new jokes.
Okay, I got one like,
I'm really good at Guitar Hero, you know, on PlayStation,
and I was so good at it, I thought, like, "Maybe I should get a guitar."
Then I thought like, "I'm really good at Grand Theft Auto,
"maybe I should start beating up hookers."
Okay, that got me. That was humorous.
I thought you'd like that.
But, yo, I ain't got no dough, man.
For real, if I had some dough, I would go.
I'll pay your cover charge.
That's the night I take my wife out also,
so you gotta pay for my bitch, too.
Okay, I'll do it. Okay.
If you come and laugh. Laugh loud.
That's good. Perfect.
I'll see you Saturday then.
Okay, good. Thank you.
Craig, listen to me. I'm doing the best I can, okay?
The clip love-actually-trailer from Love Actually - Trailer (2003) with Emma Thompson, Emma Thompson. Powered by: Anyclip. any moment from any film.
The clip a-christmas-story-trailer from A Christmas Story - Trailer (1983) with Peter Billingsley, Melinda Dillon. Powered by: Anyclip. any moment from any film.