The clip George and Ira Jokes from Funny People (2009) with Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen
So, I'm not married. I don't think I'm ever gonna get married.
I just... I can't find a reason to do it, you know?
Like, I got friends, like,
" You gotta get married. My wife.
" My wife is a... She's the best cook.
"My wife's the... You gotta."
And I'm like, "My cook's the best cook."
" But my wife, she's my best friend. "
" Yeah, my cook's actually a pretty good guy. " You know?
This could be funny.
Like, your dad didn't like you, so he named you and your dog George.
He'd be like, "Hey, George, come in here!
"Not you, the dog."
"George, I... Look at this awesome book I just got!"
And then you come in, it's like, "Not you, the dog."
" Hey, George, I made a nice steak for you. "
"Hey, thanks, Dad."
"Not you, the dog."
" Hey, George, I just put some peanut butter on my balls. Come lick it up. You. "
I miss the dry hump as a concept in my life. It just doesn't...
I miss the dry hump 'cause you don't need a big dick to be a good dry humper.
You just need a big thigh, that's all you need.
Be able to get your thigh in there real good.
I can thigh the hell out of a girl.
Sexually, I'm completely terrible, but I could do this all day.
I'm very rich, by the way. I know that makes you fee good about your life.
I got so much.
"You have so much. Why not me?"
I have people stop m on the streets sometimes, just go,
"You have so much!" "Yes, yes." "Why not me?"
Like, "I don't know."
"Why you? I came out here to do what you do. "
"Well, you're not doing it."
" No, I'm not!
" Fuck you! I want all your money and all your whores. "
Airplanes are the last public place
where you can fart as loud as you want and no one cares.
'Cause they don't... It's loud. There's engine noise.
They just don't know it's you.
Like, you could literally be talking to someone you just met
and be sitting this far away from them
and look them dead in the eye as they talk about their grandson
and just fart as loud as you humanly can. Just...
The clip the-welders-excecution from Un long dimanche de fiançailles (2004) with Denis Lavant. Powered by: Anyclip. any moment from any film. I guess you like it. I'd kill my parents for a good stew! Don't worry, he's an orphan. The same goes for truffles. If you like truffles, I have one from Périgord... Which ones did you see die? The one with gangrene. Six-Sous. Yes, the welder. Comrades... Before dying... I have a final request. I want to piss standing up. Like a man! And then, you can fire away to your heart's content! So long to life, so long to love. So long to all those women. It's all over. Done forever. This shameful war. At Craonne, on the plateau. That's where we'll leave our skins. For we've all been sentenced. We are the sacrificed.
The clip meeting-at-the-market from Un long dimanche de fiançailles (2004) with Audrey Tautou, Jodie Foster. Powered by: Anyclip. any moment from any film. Pilot fish! Excuse me, Elodie Gordes? Over there, selling carrots. Thank you. Never seen him! Which one don't you know? Him, by any chance? Why did Bastoche and Biscuit argue? Was it over you? I have nothing to say! - I want to know! - Leave me alone! They last met at Bingo Crépuscule. My fiancé was also there. With Bastoche. In that shithole of a trench! I want to understand. I want to understand! It's not what you think. I can't talk about it. Give me your address. My spelling's terrible but I'll explain it all in a letter. I promise.