Mallrats (1995): the Tape

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Published 24 Nov 2011
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The clip the tape from Mallrats (1995) with Claire Forlani, Brian O'Halloran

Suitor number three.
Is your ...
The clip the tape from Mallrats (1995) with Claire Forlani, Brian O'Halloran

Suitor number three.
Is your kiss like a soft breeze, a firm handshake, or a jackhammer?
What's the funny guy doing with his hands?
I don't wanna know.
What the fuck is goin' on up there?
Definitely a jackhammer.
I'm in there with some pressure, and when I'm done, you're not the same as before.
You're changed.
Where do you come up with this shit?
That is the cheesiest response to an honest question I've ever heard.
I saw you kiss and it wasn't anything like that.
Suitor number two, you have to wait until you're addressed before you respond.
Richard Dawson, just go back to your podium until it's time to play the Feud.
Who'd you see me kiss?
Some dude backstage. He seemed unimpressed.
I didn't kiss any guy backstage. I swear. I'm not gay.
Hey, suitor-ette, this guy's a homophobe; you heard how repulsed he sounded.
Is this the kind of guy you wanna spend a vacation with, this hate monger?
I don't hate gay people.
So you love them?
Yes. I mean, no.
Textbook closet case. Self loather.
Can't be comfortable with his own sexuality.
Brodie told me to give this to you.
Are you watching this shit?
It's fucked up!
I don't wanna be here when that tape does what I think it's going to do.
Miss Suitor-ette, how 'bout you answer a question for me?
Um, I don't think that-
How strong are your convictions?
What are you talking about?
How easily do you quit? Say you wind up with one of us.
Hopefully not Rush Limbaugh.
I'm not like Rush Limbaugh.
Because he's fat? You got something against fat people too?
Snootchy bootchies. Are you ready?
Uh, if I have a conviction, I stick to it.
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