Mallrats (1995): Confront on Stage

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Published 24 Nov 2011
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The clip confront on stage from Mallrats (1995) with Jeremy London, Claire Forlani

Were you ever in love?
The clip confront on stage from Mallrats (1995) with Jeremy London, Claire Forlani

Were you ever in love?
Yes, as a matter of fact.
Oh, really? And what happened to your boyfriend?
Well, he, uh- We broke up.
It just didn't work out.
Were you unhappy?
Hey, what about the rest of us? Why don't you ask me a question?
Suitor number two.
What about me?
Aw, Gill, just shut the fuck up.
Second suitor. Would you ever make whoopie in public?
I already did once today.
But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story.
He was on a plane to New Mexico, when all of a sudden the hydraulics went.
The plane started spinning around, going out of control.
So he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there.
So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start beating like mad.
So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom...
when all the sudden...
the hydraulics kick back in and the plane rights itself.
It lands safely. And everyone puts their pieces or whatever away and deboard.
And nobody mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
Well, did he come or what?
Jesus Christ!
There's just some things you don't talk about in public.
Second suitor. If you were a comic book character, what character would you be?
Wow, that's a great question. Tough one, though. What does one gage his response on?
Physical prowess? Keen detection skills?
The ability to banter well with super villains?
How's your comic book collection, Brodie?
It's goin' good, but-
Oh, comics? What are you talking about?
I don't collect comics. Comics are for kids.
I knew it. Suitor number one, you just don't know when to quit, do you?
No. No. But you sure do. I thought you were in love.
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