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The clip If I had a brain from The Wizard of Oz (1939) with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger
Did I scare you?
No, no. I just thought you hurt yourself.
But I didn't scare you?
No, of course not.
I didn't think so.
You see, I can't even scare a crow.
They come from miles around just to eat in my field and laugh in my face.
I'm a failure because I haven't got a brain!
What would you do with a brain if you had one?
Do? Why, if I had a brain, I could....
* I could wile away the hours * * Conferrin' with the flowers *
* Consultin' with the rain *
* And my head I'd be scratchin' * * While my thoughts were busy hatchin' *
* If I only had a brain *
* I'd unravel every riddle * * For any individual *
* In trouble or in pain *
* With the thoughts you'll be thinkin' * * You could be another Lincoln *
* If you only had a brain *
* Oh, I would tell you why *
* The ocean's near the shore *
* I could think of things * * I never thunk before *
* And then I'd sit and think some more *
* I would not be just a nothin' *
* My head all full of stuffin' * * My heart all full of pain *
* I would dance and be merry * * Life would be a ding-a-derry *
* If I only had a brain *
Wonderful!