Clerks II (2006): Porch Monkey

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Published 13 Nov 2011
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The clip porch monkey from Clerks II (2006) with Trevor Fehrman, Jeff Anderson

Thanks, you guys, thanks.
C...
The clip porch monkey from Clerks II (2006) with Trevor Fehrman, Jeff Anderson

Thanks, you guys, thanks.
Come on!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Was that a number two you wanted?
Yeah, and bovine-size it.
$13.84.
I need two Surlies and a Cow Tipper.
I'm on it.
How we set for fries?
I don't think these look right.
Jesus! Step away from the fryer before you burn us all alive.
It's not my fault you abandoned your post!
Was it too much to ask that you handle the fries?
The machine does all the work.
What's a machine got to transform
into some giant fucking robot before you'll take it seriously?
Go home.
Will you just make some fries already?
Look, I don't have all night.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
They need to get some Mexicans working in here.
They'd be...
They don't play around.
I know it. Mexican made me lose my job.
That motherfucker put a roof up in 30 seconds.
Where the fuck did you guys go?
You don't want to know.
Well, I know it's your last day and all,
but while you're still on the clock,
can't you kind of pretend like you still give a shit?
Don't blame this guy.
Some cock stain that we went to high school with
showed up to remind us that we're fucking failures,
so I wanted to get out of here
and blow off some steam, if you must know.
Did he say "cock stain"?
What the fuck is cock stain?
I don't know... that's some white freaky stuff.
White boys get the white women to do everything.
You want to do a cock stain?
Do you know how often I've had people come in here
that I went to school with?
Fuck, I had to take a fucking order off of a guy
I blew after junior prom once.
Yeah, I've waited on your brother, too... h'noop!
I can't believe you.
The smartest of smart asses got rattled
by some fucking loser coming in here
giving you shit about your McJob.
Oh, fuck him, okay?
Sooner or later, I'll do something with myself
and make my mark.
But until then, whatever I do is not a waste of time,
it's all building toward something.
How about you build towards making some fuckin' fries?
They're coming!
Remember, you saved.
You don't use that kind of language.
Ain't nobody from my church in here.
I don't mind people snickering
at the stupid uniform I've got to wear.
But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let
some self-righteous, lucky turd come in here
and treat me and Dante
like we're a couple of fucking porch monkeys.
Randal!
Uh, I'm-I'm sorry. He...
He didn't really just say what I think he said.
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