Clerks II (2006): Lord of the Rings

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Published 13 Nov 2011
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The clip Lord of the rings from Clerks II (2006) with Trevor Fehrman, Jeff Anderson

One ring to rule them all.
And you wonder why no chick'll let you stick your cock in her.
I never wondered that.
Yeah, 'cause you've accepted the fact
that you'll never get a chick a long time ago.
I could get a chick if I wanted.
Who are you kidding?
You can't get a chick, you mook.
You're too weird and sad.
I turn down chicks left and right.
Your chicks are your "left" and "right. "
Yeah, right. What do you know?
Uh, I know you're a huge fuckin' nerd
of Potsie-like proportions, and no chicks dig nerds,
especially nerds that are into Lord of the Rings.
Chicks dig Lord of the Rings, Randal.
Yeah. The kind of chicks
that are into swords and elves and shit,
and I wouldn't fuck them with the Torch of Gondor.
Oh, you're so gross!
Hey, man.
Welcome to Mooby's. May I take your order?
Yeah, um...
let's see.
Give me one Udderly Delicious Moo-ilk Shake,
Skinny Calf and an order of onion rings. Thanks.
"One ring to rule them all. "
"One ring to find them. "
Oh, Jesus.
"One ring to bring them all. "
"And in the darkness bind them. "
Yes! Dude!
How many times?
Well, um, three for Fellowship,
two for Towers,
four for Return.
Five for Return.
All right, look,
there's only one Return, okay,
and it ain't of the king... it's of the Jedi.
Oh, Star Wars geek.
Oh, I'm the geek?
Look at you two, whipping out your preciouses.
You'll have to excuse him.
He's not "down" with the trilogy.
Oh, what the fuck happened to this world?
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