The clip Bruno learns self defense from Bruno (2009) with Sacha Baron Cohen
I'm totally irresistible to gay guys. They see me und they want to schtupp me.
So how do I protect against those guys?
If they get close to you, hit them and leave the situation.
How do you spot the homosexual?
Very hard to do.
Because some of them don't even dress no different than myself or you.
It's kind of like terrorists.
If a terrorist has infiltrated a police department
and he dresses like the policemen, how would you know that's him?
What are obvious things that we can look for?
Obvious is a person that's being extremely nice to them to start with.
So if someone approaches you in the street und is being very, very nice to you,
you know that they are a homosexual?
How should I protect myself from being attacked by homosexuals?
They probably would attack from behind.
So, again, if I am a homosexual,
and I'm just trying to run in und kiss you...
Boom! You done moved in the wrong range.
Let's say the homosexual has got you on the ground.
Und the homosexual, you know, has got you down here.
I go to pull this down.
I want to lock this, lock this leg here.
Hit with the elbow.
Boom. As I roll across.
How do you protect yourself from a dildo?
So let's say I'm trying...
Here, you know.
Like that. You know?
Und disarm the dildo?
Is it harder to defend against a black dildo?
One is just as easy as the other to defend against.
So, I'm attacking.
Let's say I go down and I...
Trap it, work the knees. Work the elbows.
How do you defend yourself against the man with 2 dildos?
Coming in. Here. Boom.
Depending on his range. Boom. Then to his face. Boom.