Pretty GROSS, but Pretty FUNNY! (AlphaCat in the Hat!!!)

Of course, based on a TRUE story as always....just with a few minor exaggerations. Ok....ALOT of exaggerations.

***NOTE: Never put barbeque on your face and leave it longer than 10 seconds....it burns like lye....no...lie. Pun intended. I had a hand print burn on my forehead...hilarious. Oh yeah....mayonnaise burns when it gets in your eye too. Who'd ah thunk it?! :)

Words:
Now here's a little story,
man am I a dummy,
what happens is pretty gross,
but at the same time pretty funny.

I used to work at a restaurant
and that was a blast!
I took orders,
served food and drinks,
but sometimes I had to take out the trash

I LOVE serving tables,
and I LOVE people too!!
Except when people treat like a servant and verbally abuse you,
IM A PERSON TOO!!!

Sometimes for fun,
the bartender would sneak and give me drinks on the job,
    look & check: My table's fine! I have time! Bottom's up!
But too many will make me a slob.

Uh-Oh my tables leaving
gotta grab my tip!
and clean off all the dishes
before my manager has a fit!

JUST CHECKING!

    gasp:

They didn't finish their food
and we know what that means!!!
If my managers not looking...
Free food for me!!!!

Uh-oh, my managers noooot happy.

Are you eating leftover food again?? (***MULTIPLE FOOD ITEMS)
Cause this has to stop!
Eating leftover food?!? ME?? HA HA HA
WHYYY...Of course not!!

I grab glasses,
i grab plates,
Even a squishy balled-up little napkin. yooooo...
Why's this napkin squishy??
i don't eeeeeven wanna know!

I stack them all carefully
with care and precision
and with cat-like agility
take it all to the kitchen!!!

I put everything away,
when my ear begins to itch,
so I take my finger and scratch,
and to my suprise something SQUISHED!

Now pay attention carefully kids,
this next part is the STINGER,
remember that napkin I picked up?...
well it was full of mayonaise
and I didn't realize that mayonnaise
had gotten on the tip of my finger.


I should've washed my hands first,
MAN am I a dummy!
But even though it was pretty gross
at the same time ...it was pretty funny.


Royalty Free Music Courtesy of:
Kevin MacLeod
Incompetech.com
Song: Comic Plodding

Royalty Free Sound Effects Courtesy of:
http://www.partnersinrhyme.com
Royalty Free Section.