Flirting with Magic

They're not tricks they're illusions!

Tricks are what a whore does for money.

Take a look at my profile picture. If you could honestly say with a straight face, after seeing what a pathetic excuse for a human being I am, that I could be a porn star, I won't believe you. As for not getting it on with 18-25-year-olds, have you ever heard of the "Jennifer Syndrome", where older men go with much younger women? Hey, if Anna Nicole Smith could be with Howard Marshall, anything is possible.

you deffently not getting with 18 - 25 year olds sorry your too old. you could become a Porn star.

Don't you mean "raise my age group"? OK, I'll raise my potential age group to 18-25. Happy now? But, if you mean it literally, that will NEVER happen. If I don't lose my virginity to and then marry a celebrity/porn star/female magician, then I guess I'll die as an unmarried virgin.

lower your standards.

I hope Michael Scott never gets his hands on this.

No, I may be into horror movies, but that's just not me. In fact, think of something even "younger" than that.

so you're more into women who aren't "breathing" huh?

I don't care what other people think of me. I'm already a free member of eHarmony, but I don't think they would be able to help me. If a girl knew all of my quirks and perversions that detail my idea of the perfect woman, she would do one of two things: call the cops to arrest me or have me commited to an insane asylum.

Dude you need help. first tip don't tell people on you tube about it. next tip join eHarmony.

Actually, some, but I flunked out. I had 25 credits. I needed 68 to graduate. I went to TCI (Technical Career Institute) for a DMA (Digital Media Arts) 2-year degree. I could have done it because I am intelligent enough and graduated a while ago, but I got lazy and didn't do the work required. Besides, all the girls that I was interested in already had boyfriends, or more importantly, weren't magicians.

WOW Dude did you go to College.

I sure hope so! It just might be my only way ever of getting a girlfriend. And I'm a 38-year-old virgin nerd who's never been on a date, really kissed a girl, or gotten any further with a girl beyond fondling her legs. I'm really a pathetic loser, when you think about it.

Do those girls exist?

Gangs of teenage girls love kindergardeners who do card tricks.