Frank Zappa Duels Steve Vai. 'Stevie's Spanking' [13+]

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Frank Zappa Steve Vai Virtuoso Guitars Duel Spanking Solo
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Frank Zappa and Steve Vai duel each other as they improv Stevies Spanking in Rome Italy, 1982.....



Frank Zappa » Stevie's Spanking Lyrics
His name is Stevie Vai,
And he's a crazy guy
Last November, I recall,
He needed a spanking

He decided then
A female specimen
Would be exciting for a night
To give him a spanking

Laurel was her name
She came to Notre Dame
He told me just the other night
He oughta be thanking
Her for the spanking

She was large and soft
And she beat him off
Made him drool upon his dork
And gave it a wanking
After the spanking

Hair brush!
Oh! What a hair brush!

Then did she exclaim:
"There's another game
That we can play with this device,
And then a banana!"

It was slightly green
Vapors in between
Rising up to fill the room
And COOK the banana

Later in the dawn,
Laurel carried on
Got right up and dressed herself and
Ate the banana

From: The Real Frank Zappa Book
I couldn't tape the following story at the time it occurred (1971), but in 1987 I invited the protagonist to participate in a videotape interview. First: my version, as I remember it.
The star of STORY #2 is a girl named Laurel Fishman. (We'll use her real name because she is, in fact, proud of her accomplishments.)
She had been a regular attendee at our concerts in Chicago and other Midwestern cities int he 1960's, and in 1970 she won a contest run by a radio station in Chicago. The contest was to tell in twenty-five words or less how the Mothers of Invention had saved your life.
Her entry said that, since hearing the song "Call Any Vegetable," she had gotten in touch with her friends in the vegetable kingdom and, as a result of this, her body functions had been more regular.
The contest winner was to receive a backstage pass to our concert at the Auditorium Theater, with one guest. I didn't even know the radio station was having a contest. At the gig, the promoter told us about it, and introduced us to THE WINNER- Laurel Fishman.
She had screaming orange-red hair, and makeup out to here, and was a little bit on the pudgy side. She walked in with a guy who looked like Carl Franzoni from the early Freak Out days.
She had brought with her a 'present' for the band. It was a piece of her own shit, which looked like it had been hand-molded into a perfect sphere, sitting in a mason jar. She claimed that was exactly how it had left her body, I couldn't imagine how that could be true- I thought I saw palm prints on it.
Jim Pons, the bass player at that time, was fascinated by it. After the show, he took it with him. We got to the motel, got out of the car and were walking to the elevator. Pons couldn't stand it anymore- he had to find out if it was real. He unscrewed the lid, took a big whiff, and went "OOOhhh my God!" It wound up in the trash can jsut outside the elevator in the motel.
Stuff Up The Cracks
In 1981, on one of Steve Vai's early tours, we were playing at Notre Dame University, and Laurel Fishman showed up. By some twist of fate, Steve wound up with Laurel in his motel room. They engaged in a variety of practices involving a hairbrush, and Steve drooling on his own dork while she jerked him off. (I got the whole catalogue of events the next morning during 'Breakfast Report.')
Since I'd known Laurel for years, and since she was being 'commemorated' in this 'folk song,' (Stevie's Spanking) I thought that I should at least let her know what I was writing- and that if she had any objections, she should state them.
Not only did she not have any objections- she thought it was a good idea. She wrote out a release, in longhand, along with a list of all of the different objects she had been 'penetrated' with by Mr. Vai (e.g., parts of guitars, assorted vegetables and the drummer's umbrella).
Frank:
I think that you should say a few words- just philosophically about- you know- your attraction to inanimate objects.
Laurel:
Well, they do fulfill a need- I don't know how it began, really, or why I have this attraction; but I feel that many inanimate objects- sometimes common household objects or members of the vegetable or- well, I won't say animal- or fruit-kingdom- (but that didn't sound right, so 'animal kingdom' certainly doesn't sound right. In fact, children and animals is where I draw the line.) However, many objects can be very gratifying objects of fulfillment- and I think that's what you wanted to know?
Frank:
Yeah. Right. I mean, that's fairly obvious- you'd be seeking 'fulfillment,' or you wouldn't be stuffing yourself with these things.
Laurel:
That's true.
Frank:
Okay. But let's say- you never can tell where this videotape will be on the air, or who will be watching; and they might not have tried stuffing themselves with any doodads yet, and you might want to give them the 'benefit of your experience.'
Laurel:
Well, all I can say is: it's worth trying once- and I mean- surely there's some 'object' lying around the house that all of us have felt some sort of attraction to at one time or another. Maybe it's that spatula you've been looking at for years now- or maybe it's a hammer (actually, one of my favorite objects was a black rubber-handled hammer)- and these are fairly common objects that people use every day of the week- and every once in a while, I'll see a particularly attractive male carrying one of these, and I kind of have to hold myself back.
Frank:
Nudge, nudge- wink, wink
Laurel:
But anything will do, really- I mean, I've had many enjoyable afternoons in the grocery store that have resulted in enjoyable evenings.
Frank:
Now, considering that you tried to convince us that you have 'personal machinery' that is capable of delivering a payload of that magnitude, and, theoretically (nature being what it is), people want to have a good time, if you're really equipped with that- (how can I put this discreetly?)- if you can plop a big 'thing' out like that, then maybe the problems involved in putting other 'things' in (for amusement purposes) are compounded by the geometry involved- which might have led you, at one point or another in your life, to adopt 'certain practices' which Christians may find 'unique.'
Laurel:
Or anybody, for that matter.
From: "Román" <donlope@distrito.com>
That list [of objects she had been 'penetrated' with with by Mr. Vai] can also be heard in "Church Chat" from YCDTOSA vol. 4:
This boy not only fucked somebody with his organ...
But he also fucked a girl with a guitar...
With an umbrella...
With a zucchini...
With a zucchini...
With a shoe...
With an enema bag...
What else'd you do?
(A vibrato bar...)
A vibrato bar!

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Comments on

Frank Zappa Duels Steve Vai. 'Stevie's Spanking'

26 Comments | Add Comment
  • to aggresive fuck ...

    to aggresive fuck if the other fighters just blocked and countered they would have lasted longer or even beat that guy, rule one in boxing never let ur gruad down, and shit don't give the other guy ground, fuck did any off these guys lesson to their coachs.

    By lickmynuts45 [Affiliate User] 1199494828 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • i did a kick like ...

    i did a kick like this guy once and my leg was bleeding from the bite....... i practiced on a punching bag i landed on my ass....
    what can i say? some ppl arent meant to kick...

    By the0csalev [Affiliate User] 1199484588 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • NAME:Strawhorse ...

    NAME:Strawhorse
    SONG:Atlanta
    Yo!!!!! I'm the beast....
    muay thai rules!!!!!

    By batistum [Affiliate User] 1199447156 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • süper tek kelimeyle ...

    süper tek kelimeyle............:D:D:D:D

    By uytarmesut [Affiliate User] 1199437552 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • this guy has an ...

    this guy has an awsome kick!!!

    By coldarcticpenguin [Affiliate User] 1199436393 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • I've done martial ...

    I've done martial arts for 15 years.. At 1 point I do understand yours but if you where a true martial artist you would let people in their values..

    By kingflexx [Affiliate User] 1199362492 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • you don't have to ...

    you don't have to act like the big guy, taking these stuff personal... its just pathetic. read your replies twice before making a complete fool of yourself.

    By ArtOfShotokan [Affiliate User] 1199356771 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • u dont know ne ...

    u dont know ne thing, just shut up shit cunt

    By muaythaikickboxah [Affiliate User] 1199310598 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • ur a complete fuck ...

    ur a complete fuck wit its not that these people are to agressive its that karate is to soft cock

    By muaythaikickboxah [Affiliate User] 1199310487 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • can some1 tell me ...

    can some1 tell me the name and the artist of the song..luv it!!

    By sunsetchick [Affiliate User] 1199271131 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • these types of ...

    these types of fighting shows me that people who do this are too agressive to practice karate or other true martial arts.

    By ArtOfShotokan [Affiliate User] 1199269639 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • i do kickboxing and ...

    i do kickboxing and i can say this is nothing

    By FIXFIXTER [Affiliate User] 1199166760 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • thats nuts, thats ...

    thats nuts, thats true fighting

    By ekoez1 [Affiliate User] 1199064672 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • I can't find the ...

    I can't find the song :S

    By Skralt [Affiliate User] 1198760995 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • dang

    dang

    By dpt715 [Affiliate User] 1198691248 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • the song is atlanta ...

    the song is atlanta - strawhorse

    By miobsesionmelleva [Affiliate User] 1198640632 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • ...

    peeeeeeeeeeteeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr is thebest

    By KingTripleHKing [Affiliate User] 1198578485 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • Everyone should ...

    Everyone should show this video to their kids before they go to school and then we maybe build a better society.

    By sebass316 [Affiliate User] 1198573784 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • peter aerts is just ...

    peter aerts is just a legend

    By hmdolon [Affiliate User] 1198564636 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • I dont like ...

    I dont like highkicks but low is great :D

    By natikfanatikfck [Affiliate User] 1198395953 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • muy bueno

    muy bueno

    By Arnolobo [Affiliate User] 1198227778 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • Andy is a savage ...

    Andy is a savage fighter! Truly a legend.

    By kiailol [Affiliate User] 1198108311 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • PLEASE!! GOOGLE!!! ...

    PLEASE!! GOOGLE!!!

    "Freedom to fascism" watch video

    to find the truth to see what we have been

    lied to

    ron paul 2008

    By boxybrown44 [Affiliate User] 1198099064 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • Not always, but ...

    Not always, but still most of it is kickboxing, but there is some Muay Thai in this clip.

    By ResidentNinja [Affiliate User] 1198087791 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • Badass clip, please ...

    Badass clip, please someone tell me the name of the song. It's pretty catchy.

    By kissochbajslovski [Affiliate User] 1197975598 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
  • actully most would ...

    actully most would do u no how much neas hurt dickhead

    By 94iceman94 [Affiliate User] 1197885251 Reply Spam Moderate Up Moderate Down
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